An Ode To The Impossible – Not Your Normal Love Affair
It was over. Life as I had known it for the past many months. She was my end and my beginning. I had given up on so much – soccer, socialising, cigarettes – just because she had demanded so.
The love affair had begun in the final year of college. She was coveted, so many desired after her, so many aspired to get her to smile at them. I had failed to get anywhere close to her then, perhaps my desire wasn’t strong enough. I had brushed it off as peer pressure, what with one name on almost every lip. In fact, now that I look back, I can see why I couldn’t get her – I was involved in multiple affairs. She demanded complete attention, a basic prerequisite I hadn’t fulfilled.
But the passion never died. Although I had moved on, the old college crowd wasn’t around and I was even enjoying the steady stream of money the job provided, but something seemed amiss. “No, this is not how it is supposed to be” was a thought which kept crossing my mind. And she seemed to be the one guiding star, the way forward, the chapter which will define my life.
So there I was, pursuing her actively, spending after-work hours and entire weekends in the pursuit. Sleep was a natural victim, but I carried on. I prepared myself for the moment of the rendezvous, seeking trusted advice, baring my soul open.
And there was the day! The day she would take her pick from the line of suitors. She was ruthlessly unpredictable, but that only added to her charms, making the final fruit all the more coveted. The night before I had been restless. I wouldn’t hesitate to admit that I was nervous. I went through the scenario over and over in my head, recalling my past failed meeting, telling myself not to repeat the blunders of the ignorant past.
That is it. Time seemed to fly and the meeting was over before I knew it. She keeps everyone waiting; it will be some time before one gets to know one’s fate. After all, being the object of desire of so many, she too wants to take her time to pick only the best. But the emptiness was palpable. I knew there were others of her ilk to be contacted over the coming months, but this one, this one was just unsurpassable.. and she had left me..empty.
Yes, life post- Common Admission Test (CAT) is pretty empty. Relieved I am, no doubt, now that the holy of holies is over. But at the same time, the next morning is pretty weird without having to take another mock later in the day, or going through copious flash cards and brain maps. There are other exams coming up, certainly, but let us just bask in this emptiness for some time!
About the Author:
Aastha Sneha Pathak is a 2nd-year student at IIM Lucknow. Besides living the hel(L)ish life, she loves to read. She is also a member of Forty Two, the literary and debating club on campus, as well as, Team Disha, the committee of placement mentors.