CV Points Reality Check
Even though the reason for every MBA’s existence is collection of CV points, most of us will still struggle to come up with 20 points in 730 days i.e. a frequency of 1 CV point per 36.5 days. Here’s a reality check!
1. As an engineer fresher with Aam Aadmi type academic performance , you will get to listen to “There is nothing in your CV” from at least 3-4 seniors.
2. Although, in office all of us were busy preparing for CAT, XAT and drowning oneself in booze over the weekend, we somehow managed to win some sort of recognition award.
3. Your senior in college made an ass out of you by telling you “Bandiya aati hai cultfest mein khoob saari”. He made you carry cold drink crates. Merchandise and mattresses while he chatted with all the girls. After all these years, that is a “Position of Responsibility” with a fancy title such as Hospitality Manager or Infrastructure and Services coordinator.
4. Everybody wants to see numbers on your CV. Yet everybody knows that most numbers on the CV are random numbers.
5. Your bosses were actually nice. Infact, you will regret the days when you used to abuse them. In case, you abused him on his face, you just missed the chance of a good CV point.
6. We scientifically bold the most important words believing that the person who is going to shortlist is going to ignore the other words .Gee!! How smart we think we are or do we sincerely believe that the other person is a moron.
7. You would wish you were born in the smallest district/state in India, the moment you see District Topper (in bold), Hamirpur (In small font), or State Topper, Uttarakhand, on your friends CV. Sincere apologies
8. You will discover new bugs in Microsoft Office while working on your CV.
9. Don’t look at others CV’s. They will always look better than yours. The points mentioned are as exaggerated as your own. The only difference is, you know the reality of your own CV.
10. You will suddenly develop eclectic interests so that you can put on your CV. I write such lousy stuff so that I am able to put creative writing as a hobby on my CV.
This article is written by Mayank Lodha, an IIM Lucknow alumnus, from the batch of 2014. An avid blogger and writer in the humour genre on campus, he is currently making PPT’s for a living as an Associate Consultant at Feedback Infra, Delhi.