Manage Your Annoying Roommate with a Submissive Destructive Letter
(Picture Source: www.wikihow.com)
In this season of summer internship, where most budding managers from the top B-schools step into enterprises to get a brief taste of their lives after college, they also spend a considerable amount of time and energy looking for PGs, flats and roommates. Thus begins a strange experience wherein they have to share their food, bills, living space, etc. They soon realize there is no spoon away from the comfort zone of friends and family. They make new friends. And after the first few rosy days, they get to see unwashed plates in the sink, stinking socks and unhygienic washroom manners to name a few. In a week they feel like going back to the same life… the same sleepless nights, the night mess coffee and the drowsy classes. Good manners, fear of losing roommates, fear of bills and rising price or merely having to spend two months anyhow and leave help them maintain such brevity.
Almost everyone has told us that the fact that you made it to particular b-school itself proves that you are on par with anyone else. We might find math-based subjects easy, marketing frameworks on our finger tips and corporate bond concepts simple… but in real life could one year in a b-school make us good managers? It is testing time for us… how well we can handle the trivial things in our daily life. Here’s my experience. One of my roommates have this terrible habit of leaving unwashed dishes near the sink (God knows for whom).
I used my writing skills to make that straight. So here’s my passive aggressive/ submissive destructive letter writing technique for those who want to revolt*
*at their own risk
1. Type a letter
2. Address the intended recipient as if you have no clue who they might be
3. Use anthropomorphism – (Anthropomorphism is a form of creative writing which involves the attribution of human characteristics or behavior to a god, animal, or object)
4. State the obvious
5. Suggest highly improbable consequences
6. Suggest a solution to a problem in a way that patronizes a reader
7. Deflect your thoughts to a secondary source
8. Use overly dramatic punctuation
9. Place note in a completely inappropriate place
And cheers to what I wrote.
Sub: “To whoever is leaving tuna encrusted plates in the sink”
The plates may not have told me that they hate it when they stink. You may, however, not be aware that dishes do not have automatic self cleaning function in order to effectively clean and sanitize a plate as well as a gang of stray cats overrunning the house. Try this method as described on ehowwhatwhen.com. I found it amazing.
1. Take the dish.
2. Take the scrubber (a green colour scrubbing pad kept near the kitchen window)
3. Pour some liquid soap on the scrubber
4. Use water and rub the scrubber on the dish (it takes a little effort, I understand. But you know how life is unfair!)
5. Wash the dish
We are running short of dish soap and it is your turn to buy the next bottle
Being a little ironical never hurts. You continue to be the thoughtfully gullible, the willingly clumsy, the skillfully frenetic, woeful survivors on milk and cornflakes, an unbelievable combination of always-in-a-hurry nerds and unpredictable times. But in the midst of all the bad things life offers… this is like a splendid endeavor you’ll do for the society at large. Do try this out in case it applies and of course, let us know.
And just as I’m about to finish writing this, I realize that this is enough dose of faking news for one article.
This article is written by Debalina Haldar, class of 2015 student at IIM Lucknow. Her novel, The Female Ward, was published in May, 2013. She is the Creative Head and Core Coordinator of the Media and Communication Cell at IIM Lucknow.
Follow Debalina at debalina.insideiim.com
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