What I Talk About When I Talk About Love

Calling Out To All You Lovers, And Hopeless Romantics,

Butterflies. Yes, as cliched as it sounds it all comes down to butterflies in your stomach. Do you feel something fluttering in your tummy? Congrats, you are most likely in love! More on butterflies later.

But why are you reading about Love on InsideIIM? What is Love got to do with an MBA? Turns out, it has nothing and everything to do with an MBA. MBA is a means to an end to advance your career; and love, a means to an end to make your life a little bit better. In the past one and a half year, I’ve gotten an opportunity to speak to a lot of b-school students like yourself. And when I ask them why they are doing an MBA, these three answers come up (usually in the same order) –

  1. To get a good package
  2. To learn and experience new things
  3. To find love or find a suitable partner once they are settled
  4. OR for people who are already in the relationship, to stay with the love of their life throughout b-school?

I am sure the first two would take care of themselves, since you are doing an MBA. I am here to talk about the third part.

This is what I think – studying day and night for CAT, getting into a b-school, getting a PPO, getting placed at a  dream company, would seem much better with someone by your side to share it with. After all, a job is something that you do but love? Love is something you come home to.

Let’s get back to butterflies now. Okay, it’s not really the butterflies but IT IS your gut talking. Listen to it. And probably you might end up meeting the person who won’t just make you feel butterflies but the whole darn zoo! No, don’t roll your eyes. It is true! You’d know I’m right when you feel it. You’d feel it in every cell of your body and not just in your heart.

The only reason I can talk about love so much, sometimes even authoritatively is because I have known love so intimately. For probably over 10 years now. I have been in and out of love with the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Probably been on more than 100s of dates. Multiple failed relationships. Read a gazillion trashy romance novels because sometimes that’s the only place I can find romance and true love. I can speak about it because I have been there. More times than I’d like and more times than I’d like to admit. So here are a few things I’ve realised after all the love and hurt that comes with it. (*sobs sobs*)

The Act of Love is a Choice

We all start as strangers. The choices that you make regarding these strangers are what determines who will stay in your life and who will not.

Are you seeing other people? Your choice. Are you bringing her flowers? Your choice. Are you staying up to talk to them when they had a shitty day at the b-school? Your choice. Are you leaving them so that you can focus on your career and work? Your choice! So you see, it all comes down to choices.

Love is all about Details

When it comes to love, it’s all about the boring descriptions in that really lengthy Russian Novel gathering dust on your nightstand. The same quirks and traits that you once found endearing get onto your nerves and you just can’t stand it? Yeah, you weren’t paying attention to the details.

Do you see the mole on their lips? Do you see the slight grey in their hair? Do you know how they scratch their head while they are watching a Youtube video? Do you see how they lick their lips every two minutes? Do you know that they have dimples when they smirk? Do you know that their hands tremble all the time but stop when they are holding you? Do you notice how fast they finish their meals?

Do you see the details? Do you like what you see? Can you stand to see and actually like it for a very very long time if not forever? It must be love then.

The way ‘I’ love is not the way ‘You’ would love

There is no such thing as ‘Perfect Love’ just like there’s no such thing as perfect despair. (yes, I totally ripped this one off Murakami’s first book.) Everyone is different. The way everyone will love, WILL BE different. It took me years and a  broken relationship to realise this. When you love someone, you love them your way and there is a big possibility that they might not love you back in the same way. But it does not mean that they don’t love you at all. The best thing you can do is accept that and let them love you in their own screwed up way (Cause there’s a high chance that you love them in a screwed up way too).

This is what I think love is. Maybe more.

So I am not going to advise you. I am going to listen to you, support you, be your friend, and probably tell you what I think of your situation when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, and Life.

With the chaos that we live in, from struggling to crack the CAT to living the hard and fast life at your b-school or the dream job that is making your life hell, there is a possibility of time for love and to probably living a meaningful life. (I am not saying that you need to run out and fall in love with the first person you see; that would be insane! But if you do, let me know? I am a sucker for crazy love stories!)

So this is how it’s going to work. You have a question, you ask me. I will answer. I will answer to the best of my ability by posting the answers to your questions on InsideIIM! And I will keep you anonymous, promise. You can ask your questions on this link. It collects no personal information. So your anonymity is safe. You can also reach out to me on Twitter at MiniBookOwl!

 

Let me know what you think of this in the comments below if you will. Let’s get started!

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