I see something settling down.
Through the brisk eddy
and the ruptured crevices,
it yearns to colonize.
It seems undying and profound.
It makes me uneasy
and I feel panicky
thinking,
what if it’s the pest called comfort zone
clinging for ever its fading host.
What if it’s the tyranny of the OR
edging towards me to whisper
“It’s okay!”
I fear. Since okay is wrong.
I know okay is comfortable
but it snatches my inner fire
It is obedient in its chores,
But it also hell bores.
Nevertheless, I did manage to manoeuvre my way to progress. What progress, you may ask? Well, I progressed to become a better version of myself. As time passed by, I decided to pursue an MBA and wrote CAT.
Finally, as my CAT results came out, it was time to suit up. I was excited to go to my father and ask, “Dad, do I look like you?” But before that, it was time to go shopping. I bought a Van Heusen suit and was elated to see myself in the suit. It felt like my dreams were finally coming true. But I was also disappointed. I could feel how limited options were when it came to women formals in the Indian market. Only a few brands like Allen Solly, Van Heusen catered to the need. And all of them came from the Aditya Birla Group.
Every girl, before entering B-School or a company, must have come across Aditya Birla Group just like me. While I did appreciate this fact big time, it bothered me as well. It went on to show how the demand is less because women at the top had still not reached the required mark.
Well, I did suit up and I did see the spark in my father’s eyes. It was the best day of my life. I felt I have broken the shackles once again. The first time was when just a year back, I asked my parents to give me a year to explore my passion. I wanted to travel and document my stories. My parents were supportive but very scared!
Last year, when I told my parents that I want to go to Egypt all alone, they thought I was out of my mind. It took me 2 months to convince them. Every day, I would give them examples of girls doing it to show them the bigger picture. I wanted to do it not only because travel was my passion but to set an example for other girls in my family which had always been quite conservative. Ultimately, I am a girl. I am an Indian. I am a Marwari. And I come from a small town. The struggle was real but it was all worth it when they finally agreed.
Egypt gave me a lot of exposure as I travelled with more than 40 students from 20 different countries for 45 days. We would travel together, indulge in adventures, will have long and meaningful conversations about India-Pakistan rivalry, problems in Lebanon, Syria and Iran and what not.
In the last year, I have done more new things than I did in my entire life. From holding a crocodile in my hands to talking to one of the oldest tribes of Africa (the Nubian tribes), from scuba diving at the deepest part of Red Sea to hot air ballooning and dune bashing, I did it all to challenge my comfort zone.
And when I returned, things had changed forever. I could see a reflection of confidence and pride in my father’s eyes, something I had craved since childhood. I could see other girls from my family doing things they would otherwise never do and in that moment, everything felt meaningful. I felt free, not just for myself but for every girl in my family.
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