I remember the time when I had typed my resignation letter and how it took me more than 5 minutes to just click on the send button. It was quite scary to not have a job but then I wanted to chase my dream of going to a good b-school and for that I had to do well in CAT. Back then I thought that the comfort this job provides may end up being my excuse for not doing well.
I wanted some strong motivation to do well in CAT. Coming from a middle class family, the importance of money was drilled from quite a young age, I knew quitting the job is a huge risk. But after long discussions with friends and family, I decided to take the risk and give all my time towards CAT preparations.
I came back home and joined a tuition class in the month of August. Initially things looked difficult as I had lost my touch with studies and everyone around would keep reminding me of the ticking time. But I started to feel comfortable with how I was doing after a month and a half. My mock test scores were improving. I had started making my strategies for the exam and things looked better.
With just a month left for the exam day, I tanked my mock tests for two consecutive weekends and that did immense damage to my confidence. I wrote 4 mock tests and several smaller sectional tests during the two week period and didn't do well in even a single one of them. It made me feel that all the preparation I've done till date is meaningless, everything went to dust in just a couple of weeks. I needed some help and it had to come fast. I called a friend from the office who had completed her MBA, we didn't talk much. I just told her what's happening with me and all she said was, "Relax, you're a smart guy. Such ups and downs will come. Forget it, take a day off and do something you enjoy doing". Even though she said things that anyone would say in such a situation but that small conversation with her suddenly made me feel better. I took a day off, went on a road trip with my cousins and then got back to my regular routine.
Things started to improve again and I increased my efforts as well to make sure that I get through in this very attempt. And then came the great depression, just a week before the exam I scored very bad in a mock test. And that literally destroyed my confidence. I spoke with my friends and everyone kept telling me that it's just one bad test and everything would be fine but nothing seemed to help. I was down and out and I started to think of finding another job within 2-3 days.
A day before CAT, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go out for a cup of coffee. I was reluctant but somehow she managed to convince me to come. We went to New coffee shop in the city. A heaven for coffee lover and both of us not being coffee lover made it quite funny. The guy managing the place was very passionate about what he was doing. He explained us about coffee and how different methods of making coffee with the exact same ingredients offer a different taste every time. But to the both of us, everything was a bouncer bowled by Dale Steyn. We didn't understand anything and ended up ordering Cappuccino. The guy was very disappointed with us.
We drank our coffee and sat there for more than 2 hours but she made sure that we did not talk anything about the exam. We saw the guy making coffee in lots of different ways and we were quite amazed to see all that. It was something absolutely new for the both of us. While heading back towards home, my friend came to me and said "don't think about it" and then I realised that I am not feeling any pressure. I kept myself busy with the thoughts about coffee till the next morning.
And here I am now, on my way to IIT Kanpur for studying MBA. That one cup of coffee and all the nonsensical talk helped me so much, got me out of all the stress and pressure. I wrote my exam with a calm head and scored decently well. When I think about it now, I don't think I would have scored well if I hadn't gone out that day.