Introvert. Under-confident. Forever-imploding.
This is a state of most conservative-families-bred children. I was no different. Being good at studies was just a consolation for me. When you are in such an environment, things done by the majority of people are considered to be the right things. The majority is right. Unconventional is foolish. I entered the rat race of IIT-NIT entrances and got a decently pedigreed college -
NIT Rourkela. In hindsight - I did very few memorable things in college - was in the Top-5 of my branch, got the best of placements, played a lot of cricket and made a group of very dear friends. That's it. I had just aged with the same conservatism. I didn't grow at all. Four years later - again the rat race of MBA started. This was tougher - three years, two failed attempts alongside a demanding job. But it was around this time, I started to see something. An individual who is not afraid to try different things. 'Singing' had been always a hobby but as I said, never had the guts to do it publicly. That's why I didn't even think of pursuing music at graduation. But in my first job (Tata Steel), I started exploring music, and I think that was the first sign of me being independent. Little successes, appreciation, and compliments made my will stronger day by day but still, it was nowhere close to changing the conservative mindset which was now committed to crack the MBA. I think it had become a matter of my student-ego, that after the two failed attempts. I cracked it the third time - IIM Indore it was. The ego was satisfied. The family was happy. But was the rat race over?
IIM Indore, 2013. I think an MBA gave me everything I had and hadn't asked for. Love, misery, humility, success, cheats, failures, and most importantly the confidence to choose my own path. Obviously it wasn't easy. Got kicked out of my 1st class by the director himself, got booed by my entire senior batch on my first singing appearance, got rejected twice by the music club - these are just cute instances, in comparison to the overall humbling experience from the IIM. Academics, clubs, committees, events, placements, faculty, batchmates - everything and everyone coming for your throat, at every moment. Amidst all this, I did make it a point to sing in front of a full auditorium and it was a serene experience. It was that night I thought something can be done here. I started believing in signs, destiny, and the universe. I started brewing the thought, what if I am destined to run a different race.
Maersk, Mumbai, 2015. A heavy student loan looming over my head. So I had to chalk out a practical plan and not just throw the burden of my passion-libido on my parents. This was one of the more sensitive times in my life. A lot of college-people, friends whom I trusted to be with me in my path, to support me or just to be there for me - didn't do so. So there I was, alone, new city, new job, and a passion with no technical background. It was an apt time for me to turn bitter and destructive. But I tried to chose the only path I knew - old fashioned perseverance. I started with my humble YouTube channel uploading my cover songs/renditions. Started reaching out to people in the 'industry' only to be given pretentious lectures. I persisted. Rejected in reality shows by Bollywood biggies. I persisted. I found a few genuine friends on the journey. I also realized that kindness and empathy are such a rarity nowadays. I was doing pretty well in my job, irrespective of hardly being interested in it. Still, I persisted.
2017 was a turning point. I realized the clutter in the music scene i.e. too many singers in tier II and III, because of lack of originality. I realized all YouTubers are not necessarily proper musicians and I don't want to be in that spiral. I started taking guitar, vocal lessons and switched to planning
originals. And after almost two years; collaborating with more than thirty artists; loads of sweat, love, and work - I have recently come up with an original album
"Project SWA". I feel so grateful to 'music' which not only served me as a getaway but it has taught me patience, kindness, and helped me become a more independent person.
For a boy who was not confident to decide his own future, taking control of his life and telling people to do the same, means a lot. Music has led me to a better phase. A more independent and musical phase. Thank you MUSIC.
If you are still reading this, thank you! I would really like you to check my music on youtube and all streaming platforms. Attaching a few links from my debut album - Project SWA. And do support independent music.
You can find my original work on YouTube and other streaming platforms by typing
'Anurag Mishra' or
'Project SWA'
-Anurag