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IIMs, Move Aside, Here Is A Better Alternative

Aug 8, 2017 | 5 minutes |

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ABC Consultants. Yes, you heard me right. It’s the premier placement agency in the country and it does exactly what the IIMs of the country do! Under the garb of education, our premier B-Schools have become nothing short of placement agencies! From the moment you get the coveted admission letter to the moment when you step on the dais with Mr. Modi to receive your Diploma (Read: Farzi Education Certificate), the only thing you are ever asked is “Placement hogai?” Not one time will someone ask you “What did you study there? What did you learn? How did the journey help you grow as in individual? What values did you imbibe in yourself? Nope! Sorry, sir. The purpose of education at supposed premier b-schools of your GREAT nation is not imparting knowledge, it's definitely not teaching a human being to be Humane and it is cent percent not teaching him to be humble. The purpose is to land a good job. And given that being the goal, let us then compare apples to apples and oranges to oranges! Let us now do simple math:   Fees of IIM A – 20L Time spent: 2 years. Given that you are an average IIT engineer who is earning anywhere between 7L-13L after graduation, the time value of the two years you put in a b-school thereby losing out the salary you could have earned instead = 10*2 = 20L All the booze you would have bought in these two years (That too in black because Gujarat is a dry state, thus making what you do there a criminal offence! Gosh, IIM A makes you a criminal) = 1L So you end up spending coy 41L for this placement service! I know your stupid MBA in Finance will not tell you that 10L one year later is not the same as 10L today! Great, put your time value of money but that still means you are losing money, you moron! Stop your GAS. It does not work on me. Diverting the topic helped you bag that consultancy job, does not work with normal humans! (GAS = Generally Accepted Shit. This is what crap MBA students say all the time and this is the jargon they use within the community so that normal people don’t understand their crooked intentions) So you pay 41L to ABC consultants and see what amazing job offers you get! Without any disguise. Without any stress. Without being a back stabbing competitive over smart zealot! I am critical. Yes, I am. I am going over the top. Yes, I am. I am exaggerating stuff. Yes, I am. But am I being unfair? No, I am not. Does what I say lack truth? No, it does not. Clearly, education in India has lost focus. Instead of producing thought leaders, we are producing robots. Clear 12th, clear IIT, Clear IIM A, land a job in McKinsey, leave the job before 300 days are up and jump for greener pastures. Basically, keep selling yourself to the highest bidder until you are as sold out as one human can be and have no self-respect left what so ever! Yes, you have moved up the corporate ladder and make decent money now. Now what? You have no clue! This is the typical step by step denunciation of what education in India does to a typical student. We all love when movies like 3 Idiots slaps us in the face in a humorous way and asks us to wake up. While filing out of the hall we will all say “Bang on man Bang on” but then we go back to our mechanical lives! The best of the universities around the world do not have placement cells as the fulcrum of all the activity in campus! In-fact you would have never even heard about the Placement cell of Harvard Business School but you would have surely heard of the Harvard lampoon, their humour publication acclaimed worldwide for its creativity and sense of creative humour! Prostitution of education the way it is in India has a multifold effect on the society and you end up with leaders and business heads like the ones heading our media houses! No sense of human justice, TRP is the only thing that drives them because that rakes in money! Grow up dear reader, I am sure you can do better in life without education than with it! Note: This post takes IIMA as an example because it is a torch bearer in Indian educational diegesis. Leaving a few out, it is a representation of our educational structure in general! Similarly, I have nothing against media houses except that their brazen unethical practices and utter disrespect for the society despair me! They are a reflection of how our society is becoming which needs immediate attention!