It is one of those places that has gained a popular mythical stature - people who have been here, know all about is harsh realities, along with its awesomeness, and the rest can be divided into two parts - one aspire to be here and the rest are either indifferent or despise its excesses it in all its glory. It's an early hour of the morning (or late hours of the night) when I have just started to write this vague and ambiguous piece, in the hopes that I will be able to get back to a part of myself that I lost in this maze.
What happens at a post graduate institute is starkly different from any experience in your graduation. It's not a smooth ride at all. Some people blame the infamousness to the hard rigour. I think this is the result of inadequate introspection. Over the past twenty months, I have seen and known people who have sailed through this in a comparatively easier way, instead of the grind that a lot of us went through. What goes unrealized and unnoticed is that most of it can be explained by a simple word - expectations. These can be an outcome of what we think we are capable of (maybe much beyond what we already are), or what others expect of us. I'm sure that in a country like ours, latter can be found in plenty.
There have been times here that I was boggled by the number of changes I have gone through since I first stepped into this place. All these are a result of my experiences, some good and a lot bad. The bad ones don't leave a good taste in the mouth and I sometimes end up feeling a wave of regret whenever I go over those again. But in a sudden moment of realisation that I am going through right in the final few days here, I have a feeling that everything happened for a reason and only because it was supposed to teach us something. After all, isn't life the biggest lesson of them all?
For me at least (I don't know if it's true for others), the years of graduation were easier. People were friendlier, they were more open. I was still growing up. Now everyone is rigid and set in their ways. They want to stay with a small set of their own people. They are focused and know exactly what they want. It's not as simple and straight as it used to be. I know about a lot more things than I used to. I have seen more about what's there to life and how I want mine to turn out.
Do I wish I could go back to olden and golden times of my life? Hell, yes! But at the same time, if anyone would ask me describe these twenty months in a sentence, I can only think of one thing to say - here, life happened and I grew up.
___________________________
About the Author:
Swati Gugnani is a commerce kid and a punctual procrastinator from Delhi, currently a final year student at IIM Indore. She likes to think of herself as a dreamer who loves to read fiction. She is currently struggling with her motivation to write, so you can help her out by reading her blog at
https://www.facebook.com/HappilyDelusional