During my first week of college in July 2014, I was perplexed. I kept asking myself, “Why is everyone being nice to me?” It was a question which weighed on my mind for a few weeks until I realized that in a social environment, people are generally polite and respectful to each other. This was not the reality that I had lived in for the past 2 years.
In 2012 I changed my school. It was one of my first ‘Life Changing’ experiences. I did so because my new school was ranked as one of the best schools in Delhi. It was an opportunity to get admission in such a prestigious school and I knew I was going to make the most of it. At 16, I was happy and hopeful and most of all ready to experience everything life brought my way.
But what I got in turn still puts a sour taste in my mouth. To cut a long story short, I was bullied everyday for 2 years.
Belonging is the third level in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and is part of the ‘Deficiency Needs.’ These needs are those which arise from deprivation and one tries their best to meet those unmet needs. I wish I could say that I swayed others opinions and got social acceptance from my peers, but that is not the case.
What I did do was learn. I learnt how to stay in an environment when no one likes you and they don’t share essential information with you. I learnt how to make nice with the teachers and find alternate means of gathering that said essential information. I found my niche and made a very, very small group of friends. I did so using two tools at my disposal – my ability to persevere and a single-minded sense of pure selfishness to achieve my goals.
Perseverance made me get up every single day and go to school. I understood that staying at home was not the answer. My new school offered quality teachers, and I would be a fool if I did not go and learn what they were teaching. My selfishness helped in clearing out the obstacles which I could see in front of me and defining my true goal – getting a good score in class 12. I planned my studies, mapped my strategy and scored 94% overall in Board Exams.
It was less selfishness and more ‘looking out for me’ but I was 16 and I thought selfishness sounded cooler. Now I’m 23 and I still carry the lessons that I learnt and have made the most of the hand that I was dealt with.
I value kindness and I understand how to prioritize. I am not a naive young girl but a matured young woman who does her own due diligence for each decision. I trust people but not blindly, and most of all, I learnt how to fight for myself by working hard, staying strong and learning how to change and adapt.
‘This too shall pass’ is my mantra and I always prepare for whatever curveball which comes my way.