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17 October, 2016

7 minutes Read

From Failure To XLRI - My Hustle To Get Into A Top B-School - Gauri Shankar's Story

My father came jumping with joy, a sweet box in his hand; Batisa, from the best sweet shop of the city. He smiled as he saw me standing in the room, the biggest smile I ever saw, a smile of pride and joy. Tired, dim eyes, broadened with hope. He opened the box of sweet, took a piece and proceeded to put that in my mouth. His hand was stretched, that piece of sweet was in my mouth and then for the first time that evening, he looked into my eyes. I did not have to say anything. I saw the light of his eyes fading away in an instant, there was the shock of betrayal. The unthinkable, unimaginable had happened. As if in one instant he slipped from the Mount Everest to the darkest deepest graves. His hand remained stretched, sweet was still in my mouth, I did not have the courage to chew it. We both remained standing in that humid room, the air became heavy with the disturbing silence that engulfed into it. That one small moment of 5 seconds, that look in his eyes, I wish I never had to witness and will never forget till I am alive. What I won't give up to undo that, what I won't do to go back in time and kill myself before being there? The next 3-4 steps were hardest for him, to find the nearest chair. With heavy steps he walked, sat on the chair, took his handkerchief and wiped the sweat on his forehead. He spoke with heavy heart and lowered eyelids,"It's OK".

Time moved forward, I took admission in a stupid Engineering college with stupid people like me, around me. The funny thing is that no guy in the college felt that he deserved this mediocre college. Each guy had his own story of how things went wrong and how by mistake he landed up here, none dared to admit that this college is as good as he could get. A college disliked and disowned by its own students. A no man's land. I used to live alone in a room on second floor of a lonely building at the end of a deserted gully. I got into the habit of reading, as it was the only option to fight the loneliness and guilt of past. I read tons of books. I used to go to Delhi's weekly bazaar and used to buy novels and books at a cheap rate. I used to read around 50-60 books a year. But as Ayn Rand says when people move from point A to point B they think that it is only places A and B which matter not the path between them. They are wrong. We remember each and every detail of the journey and path that we passed through to reach the destination. I remembered how I came here. What happened before. That look in my father's eyes. Anything which gave me happiness made me feel guilty as if I robbed my father of happiness and did not deserve the luxury of joy. During the 4 years of my Engineering, I watched only 2 movies, I had a basic phone, no laptop, no TV. Just a room, a bed and many many books to read.

I completed my B.Tech and got selected in TCS, finally a respite! A face-saving event, good news after a long time. I started earning, my parents became proud and happy. Worked hard for 5 years, yet still, I remembered that failure. I had to remove that stigma. Whenever I used to read about great colleges like IITs and IIMs I would feel a pang of pain. For once, just once in my life, I wanted to study in a big college with a big name. So I started studying for GMAT, worked hard for months to get a decent score. Filled many forms. XLRI was one of them and I got selected in it. An MBA college which ranks 4th in all India ranking. I still remember the call that I made to my father, with that shaking and choked voice, telling him that I got selected in XLRI. There was a momentary silence on the other end. As if he was reaching out and reliving that moment, which refused to pass since 10 years. As if he was recollecting in his fading and aged memory, what happened then and what had been the struggle in last decade. How heavy that burden was, how long the days and nights were and how time is like a sea which gives you all back which it had taken from you once. Finally, he spoke in a broken voice and gave me his blessings. A short call of 2 minutes. It took 10 years of struggle, hardship and persistence to make that call of 2 minutes. Next month I took my father aside and we flew together to Kolkata. His first flight. I held his hand during the takeoff. I noticed how weak his hands had become, I could feel his nerves under my palm. We reached Jamshedpur and I noticed the pride in his first step when he entered through the gates of XLRI and saw those big buildings. Then he looked at me and smiled...

Comments

Miti Vaidya

Miti Vaidya is an alumnus of XLRI School of Business (Batch of 2011). She is currently loving her job as Product Manager of Konversations.com and is part of the leadership team at InsideIIM-Konversations. Prior to this, Miti spent 5 years with the Tata Group as part of the prestigious TAS programme. A graduate from Narsee Monjee College of Commerce & Economics (Batch of 2007), Miti has also completed her C.A.

Brilliant article. Sounds like it's straight from the heart!

18 Oct 2016, 05.28 AM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Thanks :)

18 Oct 2016, 08.55 AM |

AMIT PATIL

Great story..inspiring to aspirants..congrates bro.. thanks for sharing..it helps..

18 Oct 2016, 08.02 AM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Thanks :)

18 Oct 2016, 08.56 AM |

AMIT PATIL

Great story..

18 Oct 2016, 08.03 AM

Mridu Bhatnagar

Thank you for this amazing article.

18 Oct 2016, 10.11 AM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Thanks :)

18 Oct 2016, 11.26 AM |

Indranil Sengupta

You write really well so real and so inspiring thanks for sharing..

18 Oct 2016, 10.15 AM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Thanks :)

18 Oct 2016, 11.31 AM |

kishan patro

your written is the effect of no. of books you had read and it will inspire millions of aspirants.and you have created hope.

18 Oct 2016, 10.32 AM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Thanks a lot :)

18 Oct 2016, 11.28 AM |

Aishwarya Rani

A vivified spirit with an absolutely outlandish perspective..I'm a die-hard optimistic soul with a belief that I AM going to succeed just because I am crazy enough to think I CAN..Writing is not my forte,spreading sunshine Is!! As of this platform,I pen down my thoughts either when I am extremely HAPPIEE or acutely downhearted...So if you too have that loony streak in you...Feel free to indulge ;)

Not just your father....every person reading this shall feel proud of your journey sir!! It's quite rare, when you read a story and experience a sense of belonging....a sense of conversance with the characters. Somehow your's managed to strike an old chord. Best wishes for your future and kudos to an inspiring narration!!! :)

18 Oct 2016, 10.48 AM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Thanks a lot for kind words :)

18 Oct 2016, 11.27 AM |

yuvraj juneja

Salute sir... Respect

18 Oct 2016, 11.11 AM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Thanks :)

18 Oct 2016, 11.26 AM |

Ankit Ujjwal

PGPM at IIM Tiruchirappalli

Lost in your heart touching story.....can relate myself a lot to this story...!! Brilliantly written and excellent narration!!

18 Oct 2016, 02.54 PM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Thanks :)

18 Oct 2016, 03.30 PM |

akshay gundar

Any Complimentary words would be understatement for this. Great story very inspiring . keep the good work.

19 Oct 2016, 03.25 AM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Thanks :)

19 Oct 2016, 03.31 AM |

Vikas Pandey

Brilliant..!!!

19 Oct 2016, 07.02 AM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Thanks :)

19 Oct 2016, 07.52 AM |

Prakash Mishra

It was a motivating story for aspirants like us, thanks

19 Oct 2016, 08.15 AM

midhun t Bharathan

Am facing the same problem that u faced & Nw trying for CAT/XAT , this story is a great inspiration for people like me

19 Oct 2016, 08.27 AM

Amar nath

Your story is really inspiring.Best wishes for your future.

19 Oct 2016, 08.35 AM

JEET MOHAPATRA

Failing to crack CAT/XAT twice, I felt that I am no good for these elite B-schools. But, After reading your story, I understood that no barrier can come in front of our perseverance and dedication. Thanks for such an ennobling story..

19 Oct 2016, 09.05 AM

anil b

Really after a very long time I heard a touching and inspiring story..KUDOOS

19 Oct 2016, 09.35 AM

Rahul Sen

Best wishes for your future.

19 Oct 2016, 09.36 AM

Anshul juneja

Team lead production at Continental

This is one of the best post I have read at InsideIIM. You should try your hand at writing, would love to read more from you. I am struggling and living the same journey. Hope I can make an end like you.

19 Oct 2016, 10.07 AM

Sahila khan

.net Developer at Tata Consultancy Services

It says it all. Things are much similar(#father #clerk #hope #Delhi #Coaching #2yearsGap #B.tech #TCS #GMAT #guilt #Struggle #yettocome), hope my next step not lesser to you.

20 Oct 2016, 02.38 AM

pritesh purohit

Inspirational...!!! What an amazing Journey. You inspired me to chase my dreams. Thanks for this booster dose and for your wonderful poem also.

20 Oct 2016, 02.49 AM

Rohit Prabhu

Beautiful Ending....

20 Oct 2016, 04.35 AM

Gauri Shankar

Thanks :)

21 Oct 2016, 08.23 AM

Sai Reddy

Inspirational sir!! Tears started rolling at the end. Take a bow for your perseverance.

26 Jan 2017, 09.56 AM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Thanks for kind words...

22 Mar 2017, 03.29 PM |

Sanchali Hoare

Made me cry :')

26 Jan 2017, 11.18 PM

Sree HARSHA

Loads of inspirations, ur failure story inspires so many success stories.... Respect sir..

21 Mar 2017, 08.17 AM

s prakash

can indian students give gmat for these institutes ? i thought this option was only available for nris?

21 Mar 2017, 08.39 AM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

For 1 year MBA, most of the colleges ask for GMAT.

2 Apr 2017, 03.20 PM |

OM YADAV

Your inspirational story made me think once again that even I can achieve success in life after facing repeated failure in CAT/Gmat.

21 Mar 2017, 09.15 AM

Rohan Ostwal

Really a inspiring story

12 May 2017, 03.26 AM

Arjun Nag

Inspiring sir! I can totally relate to your pre engineering days - selling jewellery for tuition fee, the anxiety, the guilt. Glad you could fight all of it. Wish you all happiness in years to come. :)

12 May 2017, 03.42 AM

Devi Prasad Dash

Very Inspiring! I am touched! I must say it is very well written! Straight from the Heart! At some point, I had a feeling as if I am having a flashback of my own life! Way to go friend! Wish you a fantastic time and a great year through! Thanks & regards

12 May 2017, 04.48 AM

Gaurav Sharma

Words of a soul, so meaningful, so simple, so soothing. Well Done!

12 May 2017, 10.00 AM

HareeshReddy Sama

Heart touching story. I want everyone one of our country to think and get inspired by ur story

13 May 2017, 12.14 PM

Prashant Jaiswal

Traveller🗾🗺️✈️🚢 #Checked_5_continents #20_countries_striked_off™ #driving_enthusiast #musicmaniac CFA L2 Candidate NCMP L2 MBA student @ IIM Kozhikode

A story worth telling a million times!! Inspiring !!

27 Jun 2017, 01.18 AM

Prabha Kudupudi

Congratulations! You defeated your guilt.

28 Jun 2017, 01.32 AM

Janardh Gana

Great story ...inspiring....

11 Aug 2017, 11.04 AM

anuj chunara

Commendable

11 Aug 2017, 03.15 PM

Vikash Kuttuva

Amazing article and this article is very relatable to me ,Thanks for sharing it helps .

11 Aug 2017, 04.43 PM

Biswadeep Ghosh Hazra

Amazingly penned! Being an aspiring author and an aspirant, this article captures the essence of students like me who desperately need to prove their worth not to the worth, not to relative and back bitching aunts, not to neighbors but to themselves. Kudos sir! P.S- I am an aspirant for CAT, had a question Can one prepare for both CAT and GMAT in a single year? How different is the syllabus for both? Thanks :) Godspeed

23 Aug 2017, 05.53 PM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Hi, CAT and GMAT have different patterns, so the preparation of one does not affect the study of the other. I found GMAT far easier than CAT.

23 Aug 2017, 10.16 PM |

Musaib Wani

Rumblings from heart of pain... It touched ....

23 Aug 2017, 06.36 PM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Good to hear...

23 Aug 2017, 10.14 PM |

Deepanshu Verma

Sports lover ( especially cricket ) . Love to explore new places and things. Dare to face new experiences. Mba aspirant.

Well written sir. One can easily feel what u have written . Matter of hard work and waiting for the result ends .

23 Aug 2017, 08.27 PM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Appreciate the kind words...

23 Aug 2017, 10.14 PM |

Abhishek Tripathi

Your story was an eye opner for many students like me...it's written straight from heart and reached to the bottom of my heart.....very inspiring...

23 Aug 2017, 09.42 PM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Thanks, happy that you liked it. My best wishes.

23 Aug 2017, 10.14 PM |

Harpreet Walia

A.O. at National Insurance Co. Ltd

Inspiring story

24 Aug 2017, 09.29 AM

ARVIND SINGH

A finance enthusiast and avid reader.

I can't find the words and more importantly right words to appreciate what you have written. Brilliant piece of writing, I enjoyed and felt every sentence blew right through my heart, breaking it into thousands of slivers. hats off

30 Aug 2017, 07.08 PM

kaushiki tiwari

Hi there. As mine name is,the way I am. Have won lot of national and international quiz competition. The most highlighted one in mine resume is "young scientist of India" and representing India at 3rd position at NASA. A photographer, writer, a stand up comedian and school topper are some more important points that describe me and mine interests.

There was so much to learn and it was all fun. But the best part was getting a smile in the end.That was like drowning in candy. Reading it almost after 2 years of publish. Great going Mr Shankar.

22 Nov 2017, 06.20 PM

+Read Replies (1)

Gauri Shankar

Thanks :) Happy that you liked it :)

22 Nov 2017, 11.06 PM |

Mayur Jungi

looking for myself in life.

the part of ur dad played the main lead and that's what has tugged me till the end. the blood and sweat of ur preparations are visible in ur description with a blend of emotions. the master stroke was that that XLRI was not all that made u happy but it was ur reliable significance with respect to ur dad's thinking was.

14 Feb 2018, 08.14 PM

Rushikesh Kavathekar

It's all about struggles. But, most important thing about it, struggle helps to become good human,right character And you are one of them... Proud inspired by you.

14 Apr 2018, 06.21 PM

Sudheer Kumar M

Extremely moving and inspiring article! Kudos to you and all the very best for your future :)

30 Aug 2018, 09.20 PM

surya snehal

Currently, an ex-infoscion(3 yrs with Infosys Limited) and an MBA aspirant.

Tears came rolling down my cheeks by the time i reached the end of your story,could feel each and every word written.You are such an inspiration for every aspirant and definitely a son every parent would be proud of.

1 Mar 2019, 08.03 PM

parvathy lekshmi

Myself Parvathy Pillai. I am an avid reader and a novice writer.I have a strong penchant for public speaking.Currently pre occupied with the task of exploring the myriad facets of my personality.

Great story

1 Mar 2019, 08.06 PM