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Confessions Of A Screaming Heart!

Aug 1, 2019 | 6 minutes |

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It's 3 AM in the night. I returned home at around 12 from work. The day's going to be an early one tomorrow (oh, it's today already) as well. The logical step for me is to sleep right now. Like 'get-as-much-rest' as you can type? So that 'you-will-be-fresh-for-the-work' type? Oh, but this confession can't wait. Not anymore. It's already been quite late. Yup, after such a long time, I have a confession to make. I am a self-obsessed, materialistic person, who is more curious about his Facebook notifications and Instagram likes than anything else. A typical bachelor, living in some good part of a metro, working in some good consulting firm (and thinking that his friends still work at a better place), who is tired of eating the 'not-so-good' food made by his maid, and doesn't care if he spends a significant portion of salary on Swiggy's and Zomato's of the world. An emotional moron, who still cries over the broken relationships, drunk texts his ex, and thinks, that there isn't anybody who is having more problem than he is (Ohh, don't even get me started on the cribbing part). A guy, who works 12-14 hours a day, 5 days a week to advance quickly in his career, and parties hard or watches movies on weekends, losing sobriety to wash the week out (and probably write this confession too). I see a smug on your face. I know, such a lost cause I am, ain't I? But guess what, I am just showing you guys a mirror. No no, don't deny it, in one way or other, you are not much different than what I am. Yup, I am talking to you, even at the risk of breaking the third wall. You and me - we form only the top 5% of India. Take a little here and there, but it doesn't change the fact, that we still are the fortunate ones. And we are really proud of that, aren't we? I was too, a couple of weeks back. And then I made a mistake. I watched a couple of movies: Article 15 and Super 30. Now I'll not spoil those movies for you, I can tell you, it got me thinking. And it made me realize a few things, which I should have learned long back. Yes, my I get very fewer likes on my Facebook and Insta pages (and you can definitely blame it on the face), but there are still those poor people, who die at some corner in this world, who don't even get a shoulder to lift them to the grave. Yes, probably my maid doesn't make good food and I struggle to find some good places to order from Zomato; but then it's the truth as well, that there are still millions of people, who haven't had food for days. True that my salary is quite less then what IB and PE guys make, and my increment is just 15%,  but there are children, 15 years of age, working in some mine, struggling to make 50 bucks a day. And let me tell you, you and me, we spend more than twice that amount for a coffee at Starbucks. It was 3 AM again when I and my flatmate returned after watching that movie marathon. We opened the can's of beer we had in our loaded fridge and sat at the coffee table. And we talked. We talked till dawn. Two weeks after, I can say, it just remained a coffee table discussion. Yup, that's it what it is for us, right? You and me, the MBA's and software developers and entrepreneurs of the world, have poverty, child labour, women safety and issues like these for coffee-table discussions, along with that 200 bucks Mocha or Cappuccino. We acknowledge the fact, that something needs to be done, and probably we should do something. We promise ourselves, that the time has come to be a responsible citizen. And then, you swallow those promises with your Mocha. Until you watch another good movie or read another rape-news; And the cycle continues. But I've realized one simple thing - the world, and people have bigger problems to look into, than my broken relationships or less than 'average' B-school salary. So this time, I didn't want to swallow those thoughts. I wanted to scream. As loud as I can. People are usually shocked when someone screams, right? But then they also ask, what difference does it make by the tiny efforts of an ordinary person? Means, come one, the world isn't suddenly going to become a 'better place', right? I had heard a story when I was small. A man was taking a walk along the riverside, and throwing the fishes struck in the net back into the river. Another man asks him "The river is so vast and there are so many fishes that are going to die. What difference does it make to the river?" Our protagonist throws another fish back to the river, and says, "It made a difference to this fish!" or something similar. You've heard the story too, right? That's what we can do. Making a difference. One life at a time. And now the common question for me and you is, what can 'I' do? Like, I am just a normal guy, right? But if we started with movies, let me quote Ranbir from Gully boy - "I've got a gift (his talent). I'll not let it waste by not using it". It's quite simple for you and me. All of us, the fortunate ones reading this post, have got many gifts - money, talent, connections, education - basically, 'resources'. It depends on you, and me, how we spend those resources. And doing small things don't take many resources either. Probably, next time, I might skip those Mocha's, and offer them to NGO's supplying food to the poor. Next time, I might not wash out my weekend, and offer to take tuition for some unfortunate children. I'll definitely invest in the education of a child, something which I wanted to do for a long time. These will just be starters for sure, as I am still on the way to figure out the small deeds I can do (and indeed, all suggestions are welcome). But a start is a good thing for me. Don't get me wrong. I am neither an activist nor do I have no right to tell you what you should be doing. It's just my way of expressing. It's just my way of changing my life. As I had said earlier, I just wanted to scream. And I truly believe, that every scream, has echoes! - Misguided Ghost