We have prepared for various entrance exams over the year with different levels of intensity. Spent hours having studied, “burnt the midnight lamp” over our books on Verbal Ability, Data Interpretation, Quantitative Ability and Logical Reasoning [along with sneaking a couple of reading time of your favourite novels/books, played a game or two on our phone. Who is watching?*wink*]
This piece of writing is built on showing pain, but also with a finality of accepting a situation, which we often forget to do. I have taken these 5 stages from Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist (1969) but given my perspective on coping with results of an examination. And in this case, scores on CAT or any other entrance exam which you have given or will be giving. Everyone reacts differently so the stages experienced can vary too.
- Denial and Isolation: The first reaction on receiving the scores on the computer screen is to deny the reality of the situation. It is normal and only accepted from you. But do not forget “scored well” is only a matter of opinion, from various institutions and peers. Isolation is a defense mechanism to cope with denial. The sooner you get out of it, we progress through the stages better.
- Anger: You’ve spent hours studying. You are fully aware of the effort and determination you have put through during a year of preparation. You and your neighbor actually, as they watch your lights on at 2 am in the morning studying. Anger is bound to be a reaction. But remember it is only a masking effect as there is a little amount of guilt and frustration involved. Your target could be your family, friends, but weren’t they who helped you through the year acting as back stage artists who dropped in a comforting message, shared a cup of chai in the evening when you were laid down with too much pressure of studying? So throw a fit of frustration, but let us move on to the next stage as we are only getting there J
- Bargaining: You are vulnerable and again it is normal.
- If only I put in a month more to studying Quant/Verbal
- If only I had chosen option D instead of option C for question no. 9
- If only I started studying earlier.
Well, If only……
Secretly you are making a deal with God or any other higher power or yourself too. Again it is only a defense mechanism and you will move on, I am sure!
- Depression: The lesser time we dwell here; the better it is, for our soul and for the ones who love us. It takes a great deal of courage to stand up for your effort and not a person in the world can question that for you. You did prepare well, you know it yourself and I’d like to believe you too. So let us head forth to the final stage.
- Acceptance: The word ‘acceptance’ means willingness and agreement. And I’d like it to resonate for you with a tad bit of positivity. You are competent because you have the courage to the exam and self determination which reflects a strong volitional choice in action.
This examination has not marked your intelligence; it is not a definition of who you are or what you will be. There have been various individuals who will share their experiences of success in the business world not by stating how much they scored in an entrance exam but their ability of over- coming situation in their work place and how opportunities found them and vice versa.
Move on to the next exam which could be this year of the next. Study as hard or even harder for the next stage in your career. So Fighter DO NOT GIVE UP!
--------
Vanessa Rodrigues graduated from St. Xaviers College, Mumbai in Psychology & Sociology. She is pursuing a degree in Marketing from Xavier Institute of Management & Research, Mumbai and will begin working as a Management Trainee at Aranca Inc., Mumbai.
Chat
Comments