P1: Tell me about yourself Rishabh
Me: Starts off with the well rehearsed answer. Trying to lay lots of emphasis on my work experience in Project Management.
I swear P1 looked at me with curiosity when I mentioned Project Management. But didn’t stop me ☹
P1: Okay Rishabh, that’s enough. What did you do in your undergrad?
Oh, mechanical questions. Whoopee. NOT. I was decently prepared though.
P2: A mechanical engineer. He’s studied Mechanical
Me: *Nods in agreement*
P1: So what did you like in Mechanical?
Me: *With zero hesitation* Fluid Mechanics
P1: *laughs loudly* But I don’t know Fluid Mechanics. Do you like IC Engines? Or Automobile?
Me: *With zero hesitation* No sir.
Am I being a bit stubborn? Should I not be stubborn?
P1: With a smile, then tell me what are the branches of fluid mechanics?
Me: Are you looking for a particular classification sir or the common one will do?
P1: Whatever you feel is right.
Me: Hydrostatics and Hydrodynamics
P1: Any laws you would like to tell me?
Me: Which one do you want sir? Hydrostatics or Hydrodynamics?
P1: Any one will do?
Me: Pascals Law. It is defined as xyz.
P1: Any application?
Me: Hydraulic lift. Explains it with ease.
P1: Another law? With an application
Me: Hydrostatic Law explained. (Nailed it again)
Can visualise myself buying the tickets to Kozhikode. I’m putting the tick to get insurance for 15 bucks on Makemytrip.com.
P1: There is a thing these painters do. They dip the liquid in one side and (he proceeds to tell me a very weird application). How would you explain it?
Me: Umm. I don’t think this can be explained by my understanding of Fluid mechanics.
P1: Give it a try.
Me: I really don’t know sir.
My confidence level is pretty high at this point. Nothing has gone sideways till now.
P2 had been going through my file by now.
P2: I notice that your grades dropped in the middle of your B.Tech. Why so?
My lucky day. I prepared for this the night before.
Me: I had been involved in various extra curriculars. Infact, I had a chance to tour for South Zone cricket. It was an amazing experience. And my grades dropped a bit.
P2: *Starts laughing*
P2: So you mean to tell me that you are going to let your academics suffer if you get involved in other things.
Seemed like he had heard this answer a million times. Nonetheless I continued with my answer because I believed in it.
Me: No sir. I have pulled up my grades in the 4th year as you can see and I believe it’s an okay score.
*I gestured for approval from P2* Didn’t want to sound arrogant. Didn’t get any response so I continued talking
Me: I also believe it was a trade off for another kind of experience. I got to train and play with amazing players. And I do not regret this one bit.
P1 looks at me quizzically.
P1 and P2: With a smile, so we have established that you are going to leave your academics for extracurriculars.
Me: *Smiles at them*
WARNING 2: The really fun part starts here
P1: What’s your favorite past time Rishabh?
Me: I like reading sir.
P2: What’s your favorite book?
Stuck between Jonathan Livingstone Seagull and Animal Farm. In my previous interview, the interviewer had skipped talking more about this topic when I mentioned Jonathon. So I went with Animal Farm. In hindsight, I wish I hadn’t.
Me: Animal Farm
P1 & P2: *loud laughter* Rishabhhhh! Do you know something? We both are the most Anti-Orwelian people ever.
I genuinely was scared at the time, I was aware of the political undertones of the book. But I wasn’t well versed with it. And the whole idea of the book was to condemn a particular political ideology.
WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?
P1’s eyes had lit up. I was a lamb walking into slaughter.
P1: What does the book talk about?
Me: Sir, I’m not very well aware of the political undertones but I can try.
P2(Expectantly): Yes tell me!
Me: I tried talking about Old Major being Lenin and Snowball being Trotsky. Then I went into the teachings of Marxism.
P2(Didn’t seem impressed): What is Marxism?
Me: *Starts rambling*
P2: Okay you don’t seem to know.
P1: You don’t seem to know the book Rishabh. Do you like History?
This was a trap I was walking into. Poor unassuming me.
Me: No Sir.
P2: Do you know anything about the book Rishabh?
Me: *Taken aback* Yes sir. I start talking about the book to P2. I quote the Commandments. I talk to him about Boxer. I explain the symbolism of the Donkey.
P1: Are you sure you don’t like History?
Me: Yes sir.
Me: Goes back to talking about the book to P2.
P1: Rishabh, What is the battle of Koushad?
Me: I don’t know sir.
P2: Can you quote the Commandments?
Me: Quotes 5 commandments from the book.
P2: Can you tell me a few iconic quotes of the book?
Me: *like lightning* All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others
P1: Rishabh, What is the battle of Koushad?!!
Me: I don’t know sir.
WHY IS HE ASKING ME THIS!?! I have already told him I have no clue about history. ☹
P1: You are lying to me. You haven’t even read the book.
MY MIND SUDDENLY PROCESSES THIS. P1 was referring to the Battle of Cowshed. Because of his accent it was coming across as Koushad. And the battle of Cowshed was an iconic battle of the book.
This is it. I have f**ked it.
Me: Literally begging. Sir I know the battle. Can I explain it to you?
P1: No Rishabh. Now you’ll be able to tell me.
Me: Sir, the battle is about..
P1: It’s okay. Let’s move on.
Me: Sir, I could not understand the word as Cowshed. Otherwise, I knew the battle…
P2 cuts me off. ☹
P2: What is the capital of Kerala?
Me: Thiruvananthapuram
P2: What language is spoken there?
Me: Malayalam
P2: What are it’s neighbouring states?
Me: Answered all
P2: Who is the CM of Telangana?
Me: …
My mother had mentioned this in the car today. I was slapping my head mentally.
Me: Sir I don’t know but can I tell you the CM of Andhra Pradesh or Kerala?
P2: *Laughs*
P2: How would you come to Kozhikode?
Me: I believe it has an airport sir.
P2: Does it really?
Me: Yes sir. But hardly matters. If I get selected I will make it via train, car or any way possible.
P1 and P2: *LAUGHING* Thank you Rishabh. You may go.
I know that I messed a part of an otherwise good interview. I wanted to make up for it. It was my only call. Time to make an impression.
Khatron ke khilaadi moment begins here
Me: Sir, can I have a minute of your time? May I speak a little Malayalam for you?
Me: Do either of you know Malayalam?
P1: It doesn’t matter. Speak for us.
Me: I spoke two sentences.
Me: I want a banana.
Me: I have a stomach ache.
P1 and P2: Curiously, where did you say all this?
Me: Proudly I used to say this to the matron when I faked being sick in school.
P1: *Laughing*. So we have established that you cannot manage your studies, you lie about reading books and con people
Me: *Laughs sheepishly*.
P1: Where did you live in Kochi? Do you know about it?
I should not have done this. Why did I do this? I don't know shit about anything.
P2 points towards his watch and tells P1 that time is over.
WOOOOOHHOOOOOOOOO!
P1 and P2: Thank you Rishabh! You may go.
I exited the room to a throng of other interviewees. Their anxiety paralleled mine. Apparently, I was smiling when I exited as pointed out by a fellow interviewee. I vaguely recall someone saying “Iska toh ho gaya”. I hoped it to be true. I gave a short version of my interview to the aspirants outside in 1 minute. And I proceeded towards the lift. I wasn’t going to analyse this any more than the car journey back home.
And I didn’t. If I had done my job well, I should get a convert. I met my mom downstairs, she was occupied on the phone, so I called my Dad and recounted the entire interview to him. He seemed confident about the interview. And then I explained my same to my mother. It was time to step out and prepare for the interviews that followed.
If you've missed out in the first part of my interview, click here!
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