In our effort to help students get into the best business schools of India, we bring to you first in our series of articles that will help you understand how things can go terribly wrong right from the time you fill up your form after getting that coveted call. Deepali Naair, an ex-SPJIMR Mumbai visiting faculty and an MBA Interview Coach, has dug up these 10 essays. According to her, these are ten of the worst career goals essays candidates had submitted while applying to B-Schools in India. Please find below in red certain observations and pointers on each essay that Deepali Naair gave us. Please note that these are her personal views and do not reflect the views of her current organization or any of the organizations she has worked with in the past. Hope this helps you in drafting your perfect career goals essays while applying to B-Schools!
1. By the time I reached the last few years if my schooling, I realized that I had a brain that could work well with numbers. Talks about business and management always used to fascinate me. I understood that I wanted to build a career in a field where success cannot be achieved by books only. Instead I always wanted to build a career where application of my brain is required to manage resources, people, money.” A sandpaper is used to smoothen surfaces”. Similarly MBA is what I require to polish my analytical and management skills. Even if the entire polishing process requires a little bit more time, it doesn’t matter. I’ll be happy to work from my heart and with my brain.
Comment: This essay is an opportunity to show case your brain so where is the “proof of the pudding”. This essay can be written by millions of global citizens who manage the feat of clearing their graduation so what is it doing amongst your “PERSONAL ESSAYS”? There is no career and no field where success is achieved only through books. So where is the argument leading?
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2. Finance is the base of business. To understand the functioning of a company, it is very essential to understand its financial operation. Understanding the financial aspects of an organization has always appealed to me, because it requires a combination of creativity, strategic and analytic ability - all qualities that I feel I possess.
Finance is the key to success of any organization and its functioning has always fascinated me. The skill set that I possess matches the qualities that are essential for this job. I have a pretty good idea of what it's like to work toward taking up a finance job, and I know I will enjoy the work.
Comment: Again this essay can be written by millions of global citizens who manage the feat of clearing their graduation so what is it doing amongst your “PERSONAL ESSAYS”. Also are management institutes really concerned about your “enjoyment”?!!
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3. I wish to pursue an MBA because it will help me widen the scope of opportunities available to me. On the basis of my past work experience, I found myself in situations where I would take decisions which may be justified from only a single point of view, i.e. that of the client, or employee or company. I believe the academic approach in an MBA that lays emphasis on practical scenarios will help me broaden my outlook and analyze situations in a more organized and effective manner.
Comment: The example provided of “single point of view” is no example at all and is not relevant. Again very global.
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4. On the last day of my junior college, I had vowed to myself that one day, I would become a successful manager in the corporate world by applying the skills that I would consequently learn in the future. I am glad that I have still stuck to the decision and my temperament hasn’t wavered ever since.
Today, the corporate world demands fresh, new talents who should possess an innovative and broad perspective of handling the work assigned to them and thus helping in taking the company on the top pedestal. This provides for an excellent opportunity for me to strive for my own career development in the field of management. My personal qualities like keenness on learning, confidence, academic brilliance, leadership skill, knack of maintaining personal relations etc. have been demonstrated by me only at a very small scale. However, choosing management as a career would give me the opportunity to hone my natural skills, build them up and sharpen them and eventually use them for the company’s benefit. This will also lead to the development of my personality with broader vision and maturity. A career in management will help me gain a holistic view of national and international business and will help me develop myself as a successful individual.
I have always dreamt of climbing the corporate ladder and gaining exposure to making big decisions that would make an impact on the progress of the company. I firmly believe that I would be able to do justice to my dreams if I study management and sincerely work towards achieving my goals
Comment: At least this essay is personal and has passion (tad too much of it) .There is a mention of the goals but where are the goals – climbing the ladder and making big decisions – compare these to the definition of a goal
A goal is an observable and measurable end result having one or more objectives to be achieved within a more or less fixed timeframe.
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5. I am from the field of electronics engineering. India being country where research and development is not given more importance, there are no core jobs in electronics. Most of the electronics engineers shift to I.T industry. However I don’t want to go with the crowd. My dream is to establish an industry which designs and develops low cost electronics components. To achieve this goal I must have the necessary managerial skills to run such company and the capital to establish one. That’s why I am doing an MBA.
Comment: We at least have an essay here which is only applicable to “Indian electronics engineers”; from millions at least we now have an essay that could be written by a few thousand. There is a “dream”, not a goal mentioned of establishing an industry. And the mistake here is mentioning others and not going with the crowd; doesn’t it make you think “chip on the shoulder”. More importantly, this essay is about YOU and not about others.
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6. Specialization
Though I am not exactly sure which specialization I would like to do, I would more likely to take Operations or H.R. I do believe that these fields more connect with the work force and their productivity is most important for the success of the company. I also value the Human Capital more than the monetary one. I am also adept at working with people and listening to their problems calmly. I can work under pressure and being an engineer relate with the employees. I can also see the bigger picture and base my decisions in Operations or H.R according to all the available inputs.
Comment: This is a beauty. Right in the first sentence you establish that you are confused and then you insult Marketing and Finance for not being connected to work force and productivity. Then again you bring about a chip on your shoulder about the “monetary one”. Again what is “PERSONAL” about this essay?
7. In the long term, I want to be part of a proactive organization in which I am an important part of the strategic decision making process that has implications for the organization’s future, am at the fore-front of the organization, and where I have the satisfaction of being a valuable asset to my workplace. Also, I would like to be in a position where I face new challenges, and keep on growing as a person and also in value to my organization.
Comment: There is a mention of the goals but where are the goals – part of strategic decision making process, at the forefront of the organisation – compare these to definition of a goal.
A goal is an observable and measurable end result having one or more objectives to be achieved within a more or less fixed timeframe.
8. I always wanted to be in the management field since my school days. However when I started to get involved in organizing activities, I realized that I can be competitive in the field of management. I believe that careers should not be decided by just consider the monetary benefits, but also the satisfaction from your work. And this is the only thing that makes me satisfied. Also, the pattern, syllabus and subjects involved in the 2-year process seems very interesting to me. And interest is a major factor, because interest is the only thing that keeps a person active.
Comment: Are management institutes concerned about your “interest” or your “suitability” or your “ability”? Very global.
9. I wish to specialize in the field of finance because that is one thing that interests me. That includes not only handling of finance but also managing, planning and consulting in this field. In particular, the research and M&A part of investment banking is something that seems to be interesting to me. Also, MBA in finance involves studying of subjects like Capital management, portfolio management, Finance markets, etc. And specializing in finance from a reputed institute like this institute would be of great pride to me.
Comment: Better than the ones above in the sense that there is some mention of Finance. But still not enough to qualify as 'Goals'
10. I stay in SPCE boy’s hostel which shares a campus with SPJAIN institute of management. Having interacted with the management institute students, some of whom eventually became my friends, i feel that there a definite gap between the management graduates and us which needs to be bridged for a successful career. The communication skills, mindset and attitude are the things that make the difference. Doing a mba will hone my technical as well as overall skills which is guess is very necessary for a head start in these competitive times.
BLUNDER ABOVE - MENTION SPJAIN IN AN APPLICATION TO SCMHRD. Also no 'Goals' in the essay.
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