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2. Finance is the base of business. To understand the functioning of a company, it is very essential to understand its financial operation. Understanding the financial aspects of an organization has always appealed to me, because it requires a combination of creativity, strategic and analytic ability - all qualities that I feel I possess.
Finance is the key to success of any organization and its functioning has always fascinated me. The skill set that I possess matches the qualities that are essential for this job. I have a pretty good idea of what it's like to work toward taking up a finance job, and I know I will enjoy the work.
Comment: Again this essay can be written by millions of global citizens who manage the feat of clearing their graduation so what is it doing amongst your “PERSONAL ESSAYS”. Also are management institutes really concerned about your “enjoyment”?!!
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3. I wish to pursue an MBA because it will help me widen the scope of opportunities available to me. On the basis of my past work experience, I found myself in situations where I would take decisions which may be justified from only a single point of view, i.e. that of the client, or employee or company. I believe the academic approach in an MBA that lays emphasis on practical scenarios will help me broaden my outlook and analyze situations in a more organized and effective manner.
Comment: The example provided of “single point of view” is no example at all and is not relevant. Again very global.
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4. On the last day of my junior college, I had vowed to myself that one day, I would become a successful manager in the corporate world by applying the skills that I would consequently learn in the future. I am glad that I have still stuck to the decision and my temperament hasn’t wavered ever since.
Today, the corporate world demands fresh, new talents who should possess an innovative and broad perspective of handling the work assigned to them and thus helping in taking the company on the top pedestal. This provides for an excellent opportunity for me to strive for my own career development in the field of management. My personal qualities like keenness on learning, confidence, academic brilliance, leadership skill, knack of maintaining personal relations etc. have been demonstrated by me only at a very small scale. However, choosing management as a career would give me the opportunity to hone my natural skills, build them up and sharpen them and eventually use them for the company’s benefit. This will also lead to the development of my personality with broader vision and maturity. A career in management will help me gain a holistic view of national and international business and will help me develop myself as a successful individual.
I have always dreamt of climbing the corporate ladder and gaining exposure to making big decisions that would make an impact on the progress of the company. I firmly believe that I would be able to do justice to my dreams if I study management and sincerely work towards achieving my goals
Comment: At least this essay is personal and has passion (tad too much of it) .There is a mention of the goals but where are the goals – climbing the ladder and making big decisions – compare these to the definition of a goal
A goal is an observable and measurable end result having one or more objectives to be achieved within a more or less fixed timeframe.
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5. I am from the field of electronics engineering. India being country where research and development is not given more importance, there are no core jobs in electronics. Most of the electronics engineers shift to I.T industry. However I don’t want to go with the crowd. My dream is to establish an industry which designs and develops low cost electronics components. To achieve this goal I must have the necessary managerial skills to run such company and the capital to establish one. That’s why I am doing an MBA.
Comment: We at least have an essay here which is only applicable to “Indian electronics engineers”; from millions at least we now have an essay that could be written by a few thousand. There is a “dream”, not a goal mentioned of establishing an industry. And the mistake here is mentioning others and not going with the crowd; doesn’t it make you think “chip on the shoulder”. More importantly, this essay is about YOU and not about others.
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6. Specialization
Though I am not exactly sure which specialization I would like to do, I would more likely to take Operations or H.R. I do believe that these fields more connect with the work force and their productivity is most important for the success of the company. I also value the Human Capital more than the monetary one. I am also adept at working with people and listening to their problems calmly. I can work under pressure and being an engineer relate with the employees. I can also see the bigger picture and base my decisions in Operations or H.R according to all the available inputs.
Comment: This is a beauty. Right in the first sentence you establish that you are confused and then you insult Marketing and Finance for not being connected to work force and productivity. Then again you bring about a chip on your shoulder about the “monetary one”. Again what is “PERSONAL” about this essay?
7. In the long term, I want to be part of a proactive organization in which I am an important part of the strategic decision making process that has implications for the organization’s future, am at the fore-front of the organization, and where I have the satisfaction of being a valuable asset to my workplace. Also, I would like to be in a position where I face new challenges, and keep on growing as a person and also in value to my organization.
Comment: There is a mention of the goals but where are the goals – part of strategic decision making process, at the forefront of the organisation – compare these to definition of a goal.
A goal is an observable and measurable end result having one or more objectives to be achieved within a more or less fixed timeframe.
8. I always wanted to be in the management field since my school days. However when I started to get involved in organizing activities, I realized that I can be competitive in the field of management. I believe that careers should not be decided by just consider the monetary benefits, but also the satisfaction from your work. And this is the only thing that makes me satisfied. Also, the pattern, syllabus and subjects involved in the 2-year process seems very interesting to me. And interest is a major factor, because interest is the only thing that keeps a person active.
Comment: Are management institutes concerned about your “interest” or your “suitability” or your “ability”? Very global.
9. I wish to specialize in the field of finance because that is one thing that interests me. That includes not only handling of finance but also managing, planning and consulting in this field. In particular, the research and M&A part of investment banking is something that seems to be interesting to me. Also, MBA in finance involves studying of subjects like Capital management, portfolio management, Finance markets, etc. And specializing in finance from a reputed institute like this institute would be of great pride to me.
Comment: Better than the ones above in the sense that there is some mention of Finance. But still not enough to qualify as 'Goals'
10. I stay in SPCE boy’s hostel which shares a campus with SPJAIN institute of management. Having interacted with the management institute students, some of whom eventually became my friends, i feel that there a definite gap between the management graduates and us which needs to be bridged for a successful career. The communication skills, mindset and attitude are the things that make the difference. Doing a mba will hone my technical as well as overall skills which is guess is very necessary for a head start in these competitive times.
BLUNDER ABOVE - MENTION SPJAIN IN AN APPLICATION TO SCMHRD. Also no 'Goals' in the essay.
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Comments
Prachi
Hahahaha..........."And interest is a major factor, because interest is the only thing that keeps a person active." This is too funny...He/She should have rather said - ' Interest is one thing that keeps banks alive' :P Cud have got some brownie points for a PJ at least!!
6 Jan 2012, 01.59 AM
SSR
hahaha loved the sandpaper=MBA analogy =)) ROFL
6 Jan 2012, 11.44 AM
Nachiket
"I’ll be happy to work from my heart and with my brain."-- doesn'nt seem to be working with either!!
6 Jan 2012, 05.50 PM
Kruti
" I want to be part of a proactive organization in which I am an important part of the strategic decision making process that has implications for the organization’s future, am at the fore-front of the organization, and where I have the satisfaction of being a valuable asset to my workplace." Phew!! You already know your jargon!...why do you want to do a MBA now!
6 Jan 2012, 05.52 PM
Deepali
I have been collecting these over years. Don't remember who they belong too. But some of the same kids eventually passed out of the TOP B Schools. They may have had to write the essays repeatedly till they got it right after these dismal first attempts which I preserved for posterity.
6 Jan 2012, 10.53 PM
+Read Replies (1)
Vidit Mathur
A post mentioning the best of the essays which got selected would also help greatly
28 Dec 2016, 02.08 PM |
HKS
haahahah .... Killer !!!!
7 Jan 2012, 10.03 AM
Dibyasundar
Nice post. But I think instead of what we shouldn't write, a post on what we should write.
18 Jan 2012, 11.49 PM
Manasi
:-) With this post, I am wondering if I would be able to write anything about myself. Ma'am, it's a kind request to post an article on what is to be written in the essay. Thank you!
6 Nov 2012, 12.39 AM
Vijayta Dhingra
Please give us tips on how should an essay be written. From the comments it seems that a diplomatic approach would not help. Kindly share some good examples. Thanks :)
10 Jan 2016, 09.32 AM
+Read Replies (1)
Vijayta Dhingra
Correction - from deepali ma'am's inputs, it seems that a diplomatic approach wouldn't help.
10 Jan 2016, 09.33 AM |
Yash Siriah
I am a MBA aspirant, aspiring to get into top B-school in the US. I am presently working at Amazon as a Senior Associate, Product Compliance. I am interested in making a career in consulting, especially operations consulting
Thank you so much for providing such valuable insights on what should not be written in an essay. Please provide a similar list of best essays with observations, which can provide a yardstick of what should be written in an essay
29 Jan 2022, 11.52 AM
Vaswati Das
Such a curious post. I thought the finance essay was perfectly fine. One can hardly expect aspirants with no knowledge of management to have a DRHP style explicitly detailed plan in mind for their careers, since such a thing would be based on little more than vague conjectures. Though of course, everyone can have their opinion, I suppose.
29 Jan 2022, 12.38 PM
srikar naredla
I noticed that bringing traction and community building were my strengths and opted for a career in Program management. In the last year, I helped an RPA giant at my company by managing their student programme and marketing their technology. Despite the inconsistency of academic schedules at colleges across the country, I was able to create 15000+ student outreach opportunities with student communities averaging 150 people in seven states. My efforts have won me laurels, and my superiors have suggested that I take up management as a profession, which added further fuel to my desire to study management. Despite having no formal education, I could flare up better and be more successful at achieving the goals through my passion. There are numerous things I would like to do, but my knowledge is insufficient. I am writing this statement to possibly earn a slot in your formidable university for my master’s education. Going through the university’s website, I inferred that my values align with the institute’s vision. The university’s reputation for its academic rigour and focus on the holistic development of students, student driven communities, and support from the faculty and alumni encouraged me to apply. I believe that studying at your university will help me hone my skills and, if given the opportunity, I will be useful to society in community mustering and cherishing my dream. Any comments on this?
15 Jan 2023, 11.43 AM