Right from my childhood, I despised the ordinary. The normal, the monotonous, everything about the everyday life bothered me. I wanted something big. Something that other people would remember me for. And this, I thought, was not viable for someone like me. Reasons are simple: I always thought I was nothing special. I was an introvert, cried easily, and did not have any apparent talents. In a word, I was ORDINARY.

So, in an attempt to do something out of the ordinary, in 6^th standard, I signed up for a Public Speaking competition at school. The day of verdict dawned. I went to school, went to the room where the programme was conducted, climbed the stage. All this was done on trembling legs, a nauseous stomach, and with a heaving chest. The topic was given the day before, and I had prepared a rousing speech on it. Started speaking – “Respected judges, and honoured dignitaries on the dais..” – and promptly forgot the rest of it. I did see my teachers and friends frantically waving at me, encouraging me, from the back of the audience, but I had no legs to stand on by that point of time. So I did what everyone would have done. I ran away and hid in the school broom closet.

But my hate for the ordinary did not allow me to give up. Next year. Same time, same competition. Prepared an even more rousing speech. Ran away even before I spoke the first word because my head was spinning and I could not control my legs.

Third year. By this time, I understood I had a bad case of extreme stage fright, so I took precautionary measures and mapped all doors of exit so I could make a fast escape if the situation reiterated. This time, I struggled through half of the speech before I gave up. The scrutiny of the audience, and my stammering was too much for me.

Ninth standard. It was Do or Die. I had already won three prizes in creative writing competitions, which I always had shined in. That year, I had a foolproof strategy. Learned everything in the speech by heart. No ad lib. I went up onto the stage. I could feel something was different that year. There was a flow to my words that was not there before. I concluded the speech to a loud applause – which were all the teachers and friends who had witnessed my humiliations in the preceding years.

I knew then, and I know now, overcoming my fear of speaking out in public is nothing in the grand scheme of things. But what matters is that I did. I did not give up though it took me 4 years to overcome my fear of public speaking. And that might be the only reason I am currently at IIM Trichy, one of the best colleges in India. I know, I have not achieved what I set out for. And I know, the best is yet to come.

Gayathri_1995

The Best Is Yet To Come.. #IIMTrichy