By the time I graduated in June 2024, most of my friends had already found direction, securing jobs or getting into top universities, LinkedIn updates that seemed to scream “success.” I, on the other hand, was staring at a gap year I had chosen, hoping to turn things around with an MBA admit. It was hard not to compare. I also picked up an internship to account for the gap year, something to learn, something to experience, something to make sure I wasn’t completely disconnected from the world. But honestly, my heart was set on cracking CAT. Everything was planned. The path was clear.
I had appeared for CAT 2023 without any preparation and scored a 90 percentile, thanks almost entirely to VARC. I’d barely scraped 5 marks in quant. That score wasn’t enough to get into a top B-school, but it gave me enough hope to think, "Maybe if I actually studied, I could do this, I could aim higher." So I turned down my IMI Delhi convert and decided to give CAT 2024 everything I had.
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I officially began prep in June, right after graduation. For the first three months, I was in full throttle mode. I made a detailed Excel sheet to track my scores, log performance by topic, and constantly update my strong and weak areas. It kept me accountable and helped me stay organised. But by August, something shifted. I hit a wall. I started slipping, one day off turned into two, and soon I found myself studying for barely an hour or two a day, sometimes not even that. Quant, especially, became this massive wall I just couldn’t climb. I knew it was my weakest section, and instead of facing it, I started avoiding it. The guilt built up, but so did the procrastination. I’d waste hours on YouTube or Netflix, convincing myself I still had time, that I’d “start tomorrow.” But tomorrow never really came.
Coming from a family of senior bureaucrats, the pressure was never direct, but it was there. My parents have always been supportive; they never pushed UPSC or told me what to do. But they’ve given me everything, and the last thing I wanted was to let them down. That feeling of quietly disappointing people who’ve always believed in you, that stays with you. Even on the days I doubted myself, they held on to their belief in me, never once making me feel like I had failed them. I also had my girlfriend constantly pushing me to do my best, even when I felt like giving up. A few close friends stuck around too, reminding me of my potential and helping me get back on track, again and again.
Then came CAT 2024. I gave it my best, but once again, Quant brought me down. I ended up with an 89.6th percentile, another strong VARC performance, but the QA section was a disaster. A few days later, I attempted the NMAT and scored 241, but again, with a painfully low quant score. And then the CAT response sheet came out. At that point, I felt like I had hit rock bottom. For a couple of days, I just shut down. It wasn’t even about the score anymore; it was the weight of everything I hadn’t done, all the time I’d let slip. But somewhere in that mess of frustration and self-doubt, I realised I still had one more shot, XAT.
SNAP was also coming up around the same time, but I knew speed-based exams weren’t my strength. XAT, with its focus on decision-making, reasoning, and logic, felt more suited to me. So I made a choice, skip SNAP prep and go all in for XAT.
The next three weeks became tunnel vision. I knew quant was my biggest weakness, so I started with that. Arithmetic, algebra, geometry, every single day began with QA. I didn’t try to do everything; I focused on doing it right and building confidence. VARC was always my strength, so I saved it for when my brain needed a break. I kept up my reading habits through opinion pieces and editorials, which helped me stay sharp without burning out. I gave two mocks a week, but more than that, I spent hours analysing them. I reattempted every single question I got wrong, tracked patterns, identified silly mistakes, and made sure I didn’t repeat them. Those mock reviews were probably the most important part of my prep. They helped me get familiar with XAT’s format and taught me how to think during the paper, not just solve.
By the time the exam came around, I felt ready. XAT day went better than I expected. And a few weeks later, the result came: 99.65 percentile. I had finally done it.
The interviews that followed were just as crucial. I doubled down on my profile, why MBA, why I chose a gap year, how I worked on my weaknesses, and what my learning journey had been like. I made sure my answers reflected clarity, not just buzzwords. I read up on current affairs daily, practiced mock interviews with friends, and prepared examples from my life that showed who I really was. And finally, it all came together, I converted XLRI. Funny how things work out, I almost didn’t even give the exam. But in hindsight, it turned out to be the best decision I made.
This journey wasn’t perfect. It was messy, inconsistent, and filled with self-doubt. I had to fall flat a few times before I figured out how to get up properly. And somewhere in the middle of all that, I learned that it’s not about never failing, it’s about not giving up when you do. You’re allowed to fall apart. You’re allowed to start late. What matters is whether you choose to begin again.
Because sometimes, the shot you almost didn’t take is the one that makes it count.
