“When you really desire something from the heart and soul, all the universe conspires you to achieve it" written by Paulo Coelho in the Alchemist. When I first read this, I thought how would this be possible. How can we just merely think about something and the universe will give it back to us. And then I got a chance to try my luck at CAT and fulfil my dream to pursue masters from one of the premier institutes in the country.
Like any other aspirant, I prepared really hard for the D-day, everything by the books. Took guidance from teachers, gave mocks sincerely, burnt the midnight oil and left no stone unturned to make my dreams turn into reality. But as fate would have it, I contracted fever just two days before the exam and it became difficult for me to even look at the computer screen. However, I did not want to give up on this opportunity and all my hard-work in vain, so I gave the exam. Those three hours were more difficult than I thought it could be. I gave my best and expected the least.“ O poor unthinking human heart! Error will not go away; logic and reason are slow to penetrate. We cling with both arms to false hopes, refusing to believe the weightiest proof against it, embracing it with all our strength” The most awaited day was here and I had failed. I had scored pathetically low and kept on trying to reason myself out of it. It became mentally draining and I started doubting myself. Where my friends were joining the most coveted B-schools of the country, I cocooned into a shell. But as they say, there is no dark cloud without a silver lining.
On March 13, 2017, I went out to have lunch to cheer myself up. While returning, it started raining heavily so I could not find a ride back home. Waiting for the rain to stop, I walked in a store to protect myself from rain and started looking around when my eyes glanced on something. I took the one of my size, tried it and it fit me perfectly. As I stood there in the changing room, looking at the mirror in that attire, adjusting my sleeves, it reminded me of the spark in me. It reminded me of my fearless childhood self and at the same time the courage to conquer the world. As I stood there thinking about the past one month and the turmoil it brought inside me, I gave myself another chance and promised myself that I will come back even stronger-as a phoenix rises from its ashes. I promised myself that the day I will achieve my goal, I will come back to buy the dress, having the least idea when the day would come.
It took me two years to realise my dream, every attempt better than the other. Whenever I felt low, I closed my eyes, imagined myself in that dressing room and kept on reminding myself that one day that attire would be owned by me. I passed with flying colours and it was time to suit myself up for the interviews. I walked in the store, took an Allen Solly blazer(this time bigger size but same colour) and as I stood there with tears in my eyes, looking at myself, remembering all the hardships, times when I had almost given up, when I pushed myself beyond my limits, when others around were doubting me, I felt confident, I felt proud of myself. And then I realised the true meaning of the quote mentioned in the first line. I wanted it to happen with all my heart and Allen Solly played an anchor, holding me during the toughest of times, now I felt ready to embark on my new journey.
