If you ask anyone about what they want in life, all the responses boil down to– I want to be happy. I know, some might argue that there are altruists who are working selflessly for others. But is it any different? Aren't they doing it because they find their happiness in others’ happiness? So, there is an ‘I want to be happy’ element in it as well.
Why are we seeking happiness all the time? Isn't it because we are unhappy at the moment? For that, we need to find what happiness is. Most would say that happiness is nothing but achieving what you want. Someone would say getting into a particular institute would make them happy, someone would say going on a vacation would make them happy and so on. So, in the end, we say what we want is happiness, that is achievement or success. As long as we feel that we want something and get it, we are happy. The moment we realize that we cannot have what we want, unhappiness creeps in. And ultimately we question whether we are happy almost all the time.
What is it that we are doing every moment? We are thinking of achieving something, targeting something. And the possibility of not being able to achieve it, disturbs our mind. We fear the absence of whatever it is that we might not achieve or possess. This fear is the source of unhappiness. So, how does this fear arise? Fear is nothing but the product of thoughts. Thoughts, more often than not, are based on memory. Hence, I am arguing that we fear the past. I’ll elaborate on it – As we grow up, we are used to a certain type of patterns of events. We have our set of beliefs about everything. And if something tries to break this pattern, some event that is an outlier, we are pushed into uncertainty. And this is what we don’t like at all. We fear the unknown. Though at this point of time, as I am typing this, I am not afraid of anything, my mind is constantly thinking about what would happen in the future and the uncertainties inherently attached to it. It relates the possibility of absence of what I want, with the unpleasant past that I have experienced. And I am afraid of this past. So to say, I am not afraid of the future or the present, but of the past.
Now, for instance when I start thinking about what grades I would get, what kind of job I would get, can I stop from associating it with something from my past? If I can do this, a state would arise where there is no past and no future, where bonds of 'what has happened' and 'what will happen' are broken. This is a different world altogether and it exists all the time. As there is no past, I wouldn't be afraid, I wouldn't be unhappy. This, is living in the moment where you just observe and do not react.
When we said that our objective is to be happy. Is it really so? Or are we looking to put an end to unhappiness? Happiness or unhappiness binary. There is a state in between where we are neither of them and we are pretty much satisfied with this state as well. So, is it okay to say that we aren't pursuing happiness but we are pursuing to put an end to unhappiness? After all absence of unhappiness tends towards happiness, doesn't it?
I am Saurabh Deshpande pursuing Business Management at XLRI, Jamshedpur.
