Some years ago, in 2012 when Union Public Service Commission introduced a separate exam for Ethics and Emotional Intelligence, many in the country were surprised. Though most of us could comprehend the introduction of ethics in public service exam, Emotional Intelligence (EI henceforth) was new for everyone. It was something which became mainstream too late. But why did this happen so late in our country? If Daniel Goleman revolutionised the branch of psychology in 1980s and 1990s, why is it that his famous work got first published in India in 2013?
This is because our society, similar to western, took a long time to realise that humans with high intelligence quotient need not always become good performers in all walks of life. Surely they can excel at academic exams, qualify for highly coveted posts & positions and may even lead to extraordinary research and development. But in this modern and interconnected world, one cannot simply excel on its own. We all are deeply entrenched into our own set of networks including colleagues, friends, family, clients etc. This network creates its own set of challenging situations and our reaction to those decides our success more often than not. For example, Say in an XYZ company, Mr. ABC lost his wife recently and was this unable to focus on work completely. The HR Manager gave the warning of firing him because of lag in work which led to even lesser focus and decreased quality of work. Later when the situation arrived before senior manager, She reduced Mr. ABC's workload and asked him to work from home for some days and then be back to full time work at a steady pace. This led to Mr. ABC regaining full potential in less than a month. This example demonstrates the strength of emotional intelligence. Empathy can work wonders if applied at the right time.
Today's career professionals not only have to take product and process decisions but also have to manage a large workforce behind them. In this light, it becomes important to have the EI required to deal with such situations effectively.
What exactly is Emotional Intelligence?
In simple terms, it is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions as well as those of others around you. It is generally said to include three things - Understanding emotions of self and others; Using emotions to solve complex life problems, and managing emotions to lead a happy and successful life.
Is it really that beneficial?
EI helps us in all walks of life. It makes our social interactions better and brings positivity in our relationship with others. It gives us better self-perception and a positive attitude. It can be used to achieve huge academic success and make us psychologically strong.
What is there in EI for professionals?
We all hear these days that managers are encouraged to become leaders. From an assistant manager to CEO, all professionals work in teams and thus require leadership skills and teamwork. Positives in a relationship have already been discussed in the introduction. Let's now focus on how EI can enhance leadership.
Daniel Goleman says that in a very real sense, we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels. Leadership requires perfect coordination of these two. High EI professionals are more aware of their own emotions and that of others which in turn could lead to better profits and lesser unnecessary expenses for the company. These people show more confidence in their roles which allows them to face demanding tasks positively. According to a survey by Talent Smart, 90% of high performers at the workplace possess high EI while 80% of the low performers have low EI.
Is EI Inbuilt or developed?
Daniel Goleman says Emotional Intelligence can be acquired with practice. It is a continuous process of learning till your very existence he says. Although everyone is born with a huge range of emotions still not everyone is able to recognize their emotions exactly and then manage them such that they become her strength.
He introduced the term Emotional Competencies which according to him are learned capabilities that must be worked upon. These competencies must be developed to achieve outstanding performance. Individuals are in fact born with a general emotional intelligence that determines their potential for learning emotional competencies. These potentialities remain hidden unless we develop them with positive actions.
What are those Emotional Competencies needed to be developed?
The first competency required is to develop Empathy. In simple terms, it's putting yourself in someone else's shoes without prejudices. A person should not stay his/her ivory towers. One should try to mix with people around, develop an emotional attachment towards them. Empathy develops with sharing of emotions.
Secondly an employee should learn to reduce the negative emotions. Any fool can criticise, complain and condemn but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving (Dale Carnegie). One should always try to see negative things in themselves and positive side of others. This helps us in our next competency which is to understand people. We should always try to understand yourself as we are and other people as they are. Do not expect either yourself or others to be as one should be. Even the great poet Kabir wrote
"Bura Jo Dekhan Main Chala, Bura Na Miliya Koi
Jo Munn Khoja Aapnaa, To Mujhse Bura Na Koi"
Fourthly candidates should always avoid Stress and maintain calm. We should always try to keep away from unnecessary stressful situations and prevent building up of the stress in life. This doesn't mean to shy away from challenges. One should be prepared for unexpected and difficult circumstances. He/She should stay calm in those situations and face them with courage.
Fifth important practice is to develop the habit of expressing your emotions. EI doesn’t necessarily mean to curb your emotions to the point that it leads to an emotional outburst. Unexpressed emotions become toxic and harmful. You should always try to express their opinion in a manner that others can understand and appreciate. Holding on to emotions particularly towards people around us leads to disastrous consequences.
Sixth competency is to try and think Positive. Everything in this world has both positive and negative sides. If you focus on negatives, you will face depression and anxiety while focussing on positive things in the same conditions can lead to happiness and satisfaction.
Another practice to develop is to always try to learn from failures. When you are connected with people around, you suffer both successes and failures. Sometimes this leads to development of hatred towards others. But in these situations, one should not let failures disturb their piece of mind for long. Learn the lessons from the failure and move ahead and never be afraid of undertaking new challenges.
Ghalib says
"Girte Hain Shehsawar He Maidan-e-Jung Mein,
Wo Tifl Kya Gira Jo Ghutno Ke Bal Chale"
And lastly we always need to remain hopeful. Hope is food for soul. Most of us have heard the saying that one should hope for the best and prepare for the worst. But how many of us are actually able to do that in adverse circumstances. As Martin Luther King said " We Must Accept Finite Disappointment, But Never Lose Infinite Hope".
One should consider the Nature to be always helpful to you just like your parents are always helpful to you.
I hope that I was able to provide a glimpse of what is emotional intelligence, how it can be beneficial in professional lives and how to develop the same. This article, as evident, is inspired from a book called Emotional Intelligence and Why it matters more that IQ authored by Daniel Goleman. He was an author and a science journalist whose above mentioned book remained New York Times Best Seller for an year and a half.
