As I sit here in library at Management development institute, Gurgaon writing this article, my mobile phone blinks whenever I receive a notification and my wallpaper says “Striving for better”. This quote is what has kept me going for the last one year. Before that, it was a totally different story. In life we have to often face situations we would rather just escape, but life doesn’t work that way, does it? We would want our life to head in a particular way and it would take 180 degrees turn and go the other way. It all started in class 10th. Just like any other average Indian student, I had no idea which stream I wanted to pursue in class 11th and just like most Indian parents, my parents considered Science stream to be safest and most tried and tested stream and hence the one to be pursued. And so, I started my journey of exploring electrons revolving around neutrons endlessly just like I was buzzing around in an environment I didn’t belong to. Halfway through 11th, I understood that I had made a mistake. And what followed was fear, fear of the unknown and I surrendered to it. I couldn’t muster the courage to repeat a class and choose a stream of my interest. So, the only option I was left with was to somehow bear with it and pass 12th. At that point of time, I didn’t foresee what was lying ahead - the decision of what to do after 12th. The same conundrum was in front of me again. And again, I gave in to my fear. I didn’t want to stay back at home to decide what I really wanted to do in life when all my peers would be starting their college and doing things according to the conventional timeline. The only logical solution to the problem was to pursue the subject I was most interested in, Mathematics and leave the bigger decisions of life for the future self. I was procrastinating something that was most important, and that would decide the due course of my career, but all the sixteen-year-old me cared about was the college life she had dreamt about, for so many years of her life. And luckily, University of Delhi delivered all of it. I made good friends, explored my extra-curricular interests, attended various events, went to places I had never been to, tried different cuisines, and did everything I loved doing.
Soon enough the inevitable question came before me again, “What after graduation?”. I distinctly remember leaving my college campus on the day of my farewell feeling clueless about my career and my life as a whole, having no idea about what I’ll be doing after that day. I was officially unemployed and it was frightening. According to the conventional societal rules, this was a failure of my life. The word I was trying to evade for years had finally left me no choice but to accept that I had indeed, failed this time. Or had I failed long back when I failed to take a leap and do what I wanted to? When I didn’t have enough courage to rebel against the conventional setup and figure out my life? When I got caught in the hands of complacency and settled for whatever lay in front of me? When I betrayed myself by not living up to my own expectations of myself?
Not again. A voice inside my head said, NOT AGAIN. This time, I’ll not let my fears get the best of me. This time, I’ll take the reigns of my life in my own hands. What followed were days of contemplation and introspection. I consulted with the people who cared for me, the friends who wanted to see me succeed and my family myself. Having a year break didn’t feel like a failure anymore.
After long days spent in front of screen, long hours of discussions with family, contacting all the helpful seniors I knew and talking to self for nights, I decided that I wanted to pursue post-graduation in management. The journey forward was easy and difficult at the same time. Easy, because finally I knew what I wanted to do. Difficult, because I had no idea what I should do about that information. But there was one thing that had changed, I wasn’t willing to give up this time. I focussed on myself, both professionally and personally. I studied hard for entrance examinations and the subsequent processes and at the same time prepared myself for the rigour a B-school student had to go through. Being a shy and introverted person, my parents often motivated me by saying that confidence is the product of hard work. I never quite understood or believed it. But it was when I started working on myself that it became clearer. CAT result came out and I had performed better than the pessimist in me had anticipated. There was only one step left to the life I wanted to live.
The next thing I did was to buy the best business suit available. So, I wore my Allen Solly business suit to every interview and I said to myself before entering the venue every time-“Yes I can do it and I will”, and even if it didn’t go well, I did not care at that point of time. I remember feeling confident and invincible. Nothing and no one in this world could affect my frame of mind at that time.
“Failure is not fatal, failure is inevitable. If you don’t fail, it perhaps means you’re not taking enough risks. If you’re first instinct is to run away from failures, then perhaps you’re doing the wrong way”
As rightly noted by the Honorable chairman of Aditya Birla group Mr. Kumar Mangalam Birla, failure isn’t only when you lose. It is also when you don’t even try. It is living in that same comfort zone hoping life would somehow get sorted itself. It is just believing in tomorrow and not working towards it. It is the illusion that tomorrow exists, when in reality, all you have with you is the moment you’re living right now. ABG is one company whose values coincide with the learnings of my life so far. It emphasises on “The Way Forward: Evolve Everyday”.
Now when I look back, I know that this year was indeed the best year of my life. It was beginning of something very challenging and beautiful. I was most connected to myself and my surroundings in this one year. I knew where I have to reach and I didn’t let anything deter my determination. The failures are inevitable but the learnings are as well. Life gives us endless chances, we just need to make sure we’re taking them. But the story doesn’t end here. As I sit here in the library of the college I wanted to get in, I know that this isn’t the end. This is where the real story begins. I’m not afraid. I’m keenly looking forward to what my life at MDI has to offer. Meanwhile, Striving for better? Always.
