I had a tough time making friends and in socialising with anybody. I was a ‘koopa mandooka’ (Samskrit: A frog in a well) who never bothered about the world he had to later step into. This meant, I could not learn to be street smart early in life. Lack of friends was a huge hindrance to my growth as an individual.
My idle social life had major consequences, starting with self-doubt. Body image issues crept in because of societal pressure of meeting certain standards. I was not brave enough to fight the battle, let alone the impending war. I loathed myself for being the person I was. This further demotivated me. My queer identity was not a major concern as self-acceptance was never an issue. But, with time as my peers began to ‘settle in life’ as the society calls it, loneliness struck me hard. I was the tortoise competing with the rabbit in a rat race!
When I decided to come out of the closet, I got to see the true colours of the world that I had refused to step into. My association with queer support groups in Bangalore helped me overcome myself, the major hurdle in my growth. My participation in 'Namma Pride Bengaluru' furthered my progress.
Art has been very therapeutic to me. I love sketching and painting. Writing has been a passion too. An amalgamation of these became my medium to break the ice with the world. When I paint and write my stories and my views, I feel a sense of liberation. I break from the shackles that I tied myself and the ones that the society tried to punish me with.
