A lot has been said before, and a lot more is yet to come but how much of it stays is the question. There’s so much to fight for that sometimes, we as women, are made to question ourselves, ‘Is it that we are asking for too much?’
I am sure we are not. We are asking for a gender-neutral society. What is so difficult to understand about this? Is it the people or the system?
I believe it’s a flawed objective. The definition of a successful society should change from ‘hidden desires and perceived stability’ to ‘empowered, free individuals and healthy class’. The burden to keep the ugly things and hard truths of mankind hidden need to shift equally on all shoulders irrespective of gender, or maybe should not be hidden at all.
There is an observation that says women are less likely to speak in group settings than men. It may be science or psychology, but ‘conditioning’ has a huge role to play in it. The worst facet of the prevailing inequality that has affected my life is ‘conditioning’, and it’s the most harmful because it exists unnoticed. I had no huge wars to fight against sexism, but I have to fight a lot of small battles.
Although I am from a small town, I was born to more-than-reasonable parents. I had my fair share of frustrations about a lot of things that I was expected to do and many that I was asked not to do. I shouted and screamed and stood up for myself in many of these instances, but for some, I couldn’t argue with anyone else; I had to withstand things and bear them. The societal norms are so perfectly woven with each other to serve the selfish and egoistic needs of the male population that it often affects logic, enough to make me question myself and my demands. The level of normalcy around subtle sexism is so high that my younger self sounded more like a rebel than a free individual.
Looking back, I realise I would have been much better off if I had been raised and conditioned to be a fierce individual who goes after what she wants, instead of being a good girl who believes well-behaved women are more important than well-informed ones. Conditioning is present at such a large extent in a society that sometimes women themselves don’t realise that we are contributing to senseless patriarchy and give in to the rules that don’t consider our needs to be as important as the other half of the population.
As urban women, being educated in a technical or management institution, one would assume we have made it; we are financially independent, free to stand up and do whatever we like.
Yes, we are.
But the conditioning is hard to shake off. The perennially compulsive need to be perfect is not helpful in an intensely competitive environment. However, a good part of being the privileged gender is that the men around us have been of great help by being sensitive and supportive to our cause. Casual sexism still exists among some men, but we have to cut them some slack because even they got conditioned like that since childhood. At least a large number of them are trying, and that’s a great feeling.
More power to equality!
About the Author
This article is written by Shivangi Tripathy, a PGP 1 candidate at IIM Nagpur. She completed her B.Tech from UPTU (Uttar Pradesh Technical University) and then worked at Verizon. Before joining IIM Nagpur, she had B-School admission offers IMT Ghaziabad and XIMB Bhubaneshwar.
At IIM Nagpur, she is also the Executive member of Nexus – The Media & PR Club.
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Comments
Vishvjeet Godage
Wonderful article.!! A am sure a lot of students go through this phase and I am one of those.. It was helpful
9 Jun 2017, 01.36 AM
Rohit Bhosale
After completing B. Tech in Mechanical Engineer, he joined Siemens PLM and had two of the best years of his life there. Currently, he is Pursuing MBA from Shailesh J Mehta School of Management, IIT Bombay. When you don't see him listening to music and singing songs, he might be found discussing Cricket and Tennis with his friends.
U are an inspiration brother... I knew you had tough time last year but the way you have fought your battle leaves one spechless.... I wish you a very best luck for your future endeavours and hope you will continue inspiring millions of people like me out there who know as a legend ......
9 Jun 2017, 03.59 AM
Parminder Singh
XLRI(BM), Batch of 2018-20. A Himachali Army brat who has lived in 10 different cities and studied at 5 different schools. Love Quizzing, Reading and Watching Movies. Electronics and Telecommunication engineer from the University of Pune.Software Developer for 3.5 years before coming for an MBA.
Wonderfully written article. I have felt the same trepidation and I am still unsure of what to do but I have also realised that you can't play from the sidelines. You have to get in the game and leave other people's experience aside.
11 Jun 2017, 03.12 AM
Jeffy Jacob
!!Sigh!!
I was in the same boat but now I think know what to do!!!Kudos to you pen all that confusion in an article!! For me it was more of ethics vs money that i struggled with and i had to choose one over the other !!
11 Jun 2017, 06.35 AM
bramma sakthi
Thank you for penning your thoughts. Neither all who convert their call from IIM have clear vision nor all who are searching their passion are vision less. Living your passion is far better than living for others. May God bless you with a clear vision on your life. Best wishes.
11 Jun 2017, 08.05 AM
Surabhi Agrawal
You would be in campus by now. When everyone starts to become candid about their own stories, during outbound or village trips or even otherwise, listen. Dilemmas are different but ubiquitous, and we all are haunted by some. Chances are, first term would put you under more 'stress' than first few years of corporate shall. It's easier said than done but go with the flow, you would eventually find where you want to anchor. And to answer the last line of your bio- yes. It shall. All the best.
15 Jun 2017, 02.50 AM
ishwar _
I felt like guy is kind of looser. He might be just 23 or 24 and before starting his career itself he is thinking that private sector job is very hectic and public sector job is easy. I felt he is kind of work shirker. And in life there no place for work shirkers.
15 Jun 2017, 08.03 AM
+Read Replies (1)
Amit Singh
Yeahh.. Winner.. I see U r an IAS officer or PM of our country.. I guess.. talking about winners and losers U Conservative Mind Prick..!!
16 Jun 2017, 01.22 AM |
Farzad Patel
This is the perfect write up I have come across at a perfect time..Thanks a lot..
27 Jul 2017, 10.03 PM
Harshita Sharma
I have been in the same situation. I am also preparing for CAT. I also had the same confusion choosing between govt job or a private job. My belief system was shaped by my excessive google searches. How's life after IIM? Are you happy after your life from IIM and so on. There were few positive experiences but most were negative ones, which enforced my belief system that I was going in the wrong direction. Your answer has finally brought a clarity. How the life is gonna be like is what I have to first experience myself, then only I can decide. Google searches only brings in more anxiety. I don't even know how many months have I wasted in this confusion of whether I should even take CAT or not, when all my college friends were studying in elite B-schools, posting their rosy pictures on Instagram. To know what life has in store for me, I need to get up and explore. Thank you so much for writing this. I have been praying to God to give me a sense of clarity. Coming across this article is the fate. Thanks a million. I wish you get freedom from your fears and soar above.
28 Aug 2019, 10.46 AM
Drishya Kandpal
Hello I am also juggling between my views on gov and private jobs while I am preparing for cat
28 Aug 2019, 02.00 PM
Srishti Singh
Oblivion
Damn! This person got 98-99 percentile even after struggling with anxiety. More than that he converted the colleges! And look at us who study for years and still can't crack it
3 Sep 2019, 08.34 PM
ayushi agrawal
I would love to have a talk with the author. I can relate to 80% of the things you went through. I wish I also get through this like you did and get into a top college. Wish me luck.
16 Nov 2021, 06.17 PM
ayushi agrawal
I would love to have a talk with the author. I can relate to 80% of the things you went through. I wish I also get through this like you did and get into a top college. Wish me luck.
16 Nov 2021, 06.17 PM
Kriti Singh
I am reading this article 16 days before CAT and I don't think anyone has put into words what I've been thinking and going through. Thank you for sharing your experience! It made me feel at ease knowing I'm not the only one who is facing these demons.
11 Nov 2022, 11.10 AM